NEW CAR!!
Ok.. So.. My poor little car has suffered yet another set back. My dh has informed me that we will NOT be sinking more money into her. I LOVE my car.. and have felt its a part of my identity for years.. 9 to be exact!! My car is wonderful and fun and cute.
We have started car shopping for me.. I have to have a car for my job.. Here's the thing. Its not like I am going to flaunt the new car in front of the BM.. but I do know the skids will probably talk about it nonstop.. (they tend to do things like that.. like a dog w/a bone).. I am sort of afraid that there will be some "set backs" w/the BM's behaviour.. and perhaps some commentary made.
Has anyone else made a big purchase.. WITH THEIR OWN MONEY and had the BM flip out over the new purchase? I already owned my own home BEFORE I got engaged to my DH and that is where we live presently.. so.. I guess I havent made any big ticket purchases while married (almost 3 yrs) and am worried..
Should I be???
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You need it
Don't worry about BM's reaction. I am guessing you are looking for a practical, fuel efficiant vehicle. Its not like you are getting a Benz or a Corvette. You need a car to work and to transport the kids when needed.
I went back to school a couple of years ago to get my degree. I got loans and grants to pay for it all and had money left over. I told the kids about how much I had left and my daughter told her BF. I also was seeking a raise in CS around the same time. BF had a fit and said something to me about my thousands of dollars. I had like a grand left over from school loans and spent quite a bit of it on school clothes and school supplies for my kids.
I guess I would not let kids know how much the car costs. If they need to know anything at all about it.
Happy car hunting.
be prepared for an 'accounting'
We bought a new vehicle and were questioned about it by SD supposedly (BM putting words in her mouth on the phone). We answered that it is mine, Most Evil's, bought with my own money, not that it is any of your business. And that's how we said it too!
This may have been when it came up too that 'its not nice to talk about how much things cost'. That was a new one for her too! Poor thing, her mom keeps setting her up for this
"Fortune favors the brave" - Virgil
I didnt even get the car I
I didnt even get the car I truly wanted because it was $10k MORE than what I am paying for this new car.. this new car is costing around $19k..
We NEVER tell the skids how much stuff costs.. They ask.. We just tell them its not their place to worry about it. That is an adult's place.
We had the skids ask us once.. "SDad needs a new car.. can you guys give him $2k?" UMMMMMM hello!!!! This was when they were 6.. We told them that BM and SD are a team and support each other.. and that DH and I are a team and we support each other.. but neither team is going to be supporting the other.. (although.. tech. we do as we pay CS and the bm doesnt work.. so that is like her contribution to the whole family.)
I am just mentally preparing myself for the commentary.. I just know its going to be an issue. It is nice to hear what others went through and the questions asked.. so that I can just be prepared.. I am not a "on my toes" type gal when it comes to timely comebacks and responses.. I am more a 2 hrs later gal, "oh crap.. I should have said.. XYZ"
Do what you want
We had to buy a new house when BM dumped SD15 on us four years ago. We lived in a three-bedroom ranch with three small bedrooms. We had SD11, BD2 and planned to have one more child. My husband said SD would continue to have her own room and our two biochildren would share a room. So I decided we would get a four-bedroom house.
As soon as we got that house (in the same school district so SD wouldn't have to change schools), BM started talking about how much money we had to SD and telling her we should spend more money on her. Whatever! We provided all support, as well as paid for all activities, school lunches, etc.
Then BM got a brand new Chevy Tahoe. I didn't say a word... But you can imagine what I was thinking.
our cars
My BF has 3 vehicles and I had one when we met. After several months, I got rid of my car because the payments were high and my BF said I could drive his vehicles. He bought a mini-van for me a couple of weeks ago for 800 bucks. Yeah, I know super cheap. It runs great and needs a little work that BF can take care of. I am pretty sure my ex would have a cow if he figured out that I don't even own a car anymore. We don't have any car payments and the insurance for the 4 vehicles is under 700 bucks every six month. One of the has full coverage and the others only liability since they are so old.
Congrats on your new car. Enjoy it!
Yeah.. I was car payment
Yeah.. I was car payment free for almost 4 years.. I really enjoyed that!!!
I havent heard about any fall out from the car purchase, but not sure if the BM noticed.. figured though the skids might mention it. If there was any fall out.. I am sure DH is covering it up. He knows it upsets me, how I am referred to and all.. and I have no contact w/her personally.. so I can only imagine.
My mom said when dh went into the house to pick up the skids.. that I should have laid on the horn til I got his attention (and thereby hers..)
They can go to hell
YES, been there, done that. We bought a house in 2006. It's in a decent neighborhood, I'm sure BM flipped. Maybe it wasn't as bad because we originally had a townhouse. Then, we bought two new cars. A truck (we told SD it was a present from our families) and my convertible. I got tired of hiding it in the garage under the car cover and not being able to drive it on visitation weekends, but on the other hand, I didn't want SD going back to BM and telling her this and that.
After a year, I said "screw it" and let SD see the car. We haven't heard anything from BM about it. SD doesn't really seem to care it's a convertible...but she did say she likes the color.
Then, we got married in Hawaii. We debated on whether or not inviting, let alone telling SD about the wedding in Hawaii. We ended up inviting her and telling BM. Bottom line, that anomaly of a human being is getting more than she deserves in child support (she faked her paycheck stubs), and seems to of taken all these changes okay (or at least we haven't heard about anything from SD). But I'm sure she still misses DH (she still reminisces to family members about her and DH's time together..they were only 19/20 years old and never married).
I'm digressing, but I wouldn't trade my life right now for BM's life, no matter how much money she's getting; actually.....I never would