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More time with step kids makes it easier

staying calm's picture

Submitted by staying calm on Fri, 04/20/2012 - 4:18pm

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My SD7 is with us somewhere between 3 to 5 days a week. I feel like I am really lucky, because even though she drives me crazy and causes a lot of stress, I don't have the anxiety about her coming and going like a lot of the other folks on the site do. Don't get me wrong, a week away would be like heaven, but the fact that she's always here makes it a little less stressfull overall. Does anyone else find this to be true?

imjustthemaid's picture

Submitted by imjustthemaid on Fri, 04/20/2012 - 4:27pm

I understand what you are saying. DH has full custody of SD15. I met him when she was 10 and it was nice not having to do the whole exchange all the time and we didn't have to entertain her because she was always with us.

But now that she is 15 I really could use a nice long break from her!!

frustrated-mom's picture

Submitted by frustrated-mom on Fri, 04/20/2012 - 8:39pm

Having SD15 live with us full time made the stress level go through the roof for me. I suppose it all depends on why the change happens and if there are problems and the bioparent and the child have a good relationship.

Especially for younger kids routines are so important and constantly switching houses can cause them to act up.

If the kid already has issues or hates their bioparent, god help you if they're there full time. It was a living hell for me.

Kate2007's picture

Submitted by Kate2007 on Fri, 04/20/2012 - 8:51pm

I think having SD less would be stressful because DH would feel even more guilty. Having her 100% and not having to deal with BM would be great. I'd think the removal of that stress would move than make up with the extra stress/work of having her around (I generally do enjoy having her here) but I think DH would then feel bad for her because her BM wasn't around.
So, I guess, anyway you have it - it's stressful.