G'day Steptalk,

It has been a long time since I've posted, mostly because I have been living in a skid-free Seventh Heaven for almost 3 years. SD19 moved in with her father in 2012, and actually got her life together. She is now in the army, and doing pretty well. At the time SD left, SS had already been living with his "perfect" bio-daddy for about 10 years (SD and SS have different fathers). However, every once in a while, SS will pop up, and when he does, it is pretty hilarious.

Before I get into the story, here's a bit of a primer on SS:

* He is 24 years old, and still living at his grandfather's house.
* He just barely graduated from high school, and had no interest in any form of higher education.
* His grandparents fully supported him during a 2-year "sabbatical" after high school
* He weighs over 300 pounds
* Has never mastered the fine arts of showering and applying deodorant
* Dresses like a hobo
* Never learned how to drive.
* Has never had a girlfriend, or even kissed a girl to my knowledge.
* Has been working part-time at a fast-food establishment the last couple of years

In essence, he's a 10 year-old boy trapped in the body of a 24 year-old adult.

As you might guess, SS is really into video games, and can seldom be pried away from his grandfather's house. DW usually has to offer him some form of inducement (typically food or presents) to get him to come visit at our house, and even then, it's not a sure thing that he'll take her up on the offer. However, when he does, we are in for a real treat: a lecture from Professor Lard-Ass.

Now you may be thinking, "How could SS lecture about anything? He barely graduated high school!" To that I have two words: the Internet. For some reason (maybe to make-up for the fact that he is actually quite uneducated), SS will memorize some arcane facts on the internet prior to visiting, and will regale us with his vast knowledge over dinner.

DW, of course, is mesmerized, and totally in awe of how knowledgeable her son is. She will literally get the "google-eyes" while listening to him. And why wouldn't she? I mean, after all, who doesn't want to know where the world's largest ball of twine is located? Or how many lines of computer code are in "Call of Duty?" Or that there is a conspiracy theorist who says that listening to Nirvana will make you become gay? And if we're really lucky, he whip out one of his "counter-intuitive arguments," like "eating nothing but carbs helps you lose weight" or "birth-control pills cause pregnancy."

Overall, SS is pretty harmless right now. He's not living in our home, and he's not been asking for money. However, when I think about how annoying the "Professor" can be, I start getting pretty antsy thinking about DW trying to move him in some day, if the grandfather ever makes him move out. If that ever happens, I may end up "transferring to another university."