I find it hilariously awful
I think it's hilarious and awful that we are supposed to worship/idolize/fawn over our stepkids. Like we were put here on earth to think they are gold that fell from heaven, and we are so lucky that we even get to be in their presence.
I find it hilarious and awful how we are supposed to worship/idolize/be ever so grateful for biomom for bestowing these miracles into our lives. We shall never do anything that upsets the mighty BM for then that will show that we are ungrateful of their birthing this miracle into our lives.
We must always be joyful and excited about the generosity of these people forever being part of our lives. They have changed it forever, and at any given moment they may change it again, and we should always be grateful for any changes they make to our lives.
It's not necessary for BM's
It's not necessary for BM's to be like this. We, the members of ST, mostly have HC or NPD BMs, which cause us much grief and stress, but not all are thus. My 35 year old daughter is a BM, her exH has a new partner and my daughter doesn't interfere in their lives, demand ridiculous things, complain about her meagre CS, or anything. On the rare occasions she comes across her exH's new partner, she is civil and friendly. I think we're just the unlucky ones.
What about skids cannot do
What about skids cannot do any wrong in their parent's eyes and SP's better not try to tell skids what to do!! LOL
The problem is bio parents
The problem is bio parents arent reasonable. They are unable to imagine what its like not only having to be around someone elses kids all day everyday but also what its like to help raise kids whom are not yours whom you are not allowed to parent the way you would like or make any decisions for and also how society and everyone else views you, including your own partner, as if you are as invisible and not their mother. My boyfriend doesnt even get what its like. We were at a restaurant the other day and the server asked him how old his kids were and how they were doing etc. No one ever asks me this which is understandable because they are not my kids! My bf tells me Im their other mom. Its beyond insulting how he doesnt realize this hurts and it doesnt work that way. He doesnt get it. No one in society views me as their mom nor ever will as they shouldnt because guess what? They are not my kids! Dont even get me started about being grateful to the ex who is useless. Why should I be grateful to someone who has made children they cannot provide nor care for full time yet you probably say youre a mom? Its pathetic.
My wife says shes grateful to
My wife says shes grateful to her ex husband who left her when her oldest was 3 and her youngest was 1 because hes the father of her kids. She even jokes around and has a friendly relationship with him. Her is a half step above a sperm donor as far as Im concerned because he pays his child support on time and sees his kids once a week for 2 hours. I might add he paid a very good attorney so his child support is minimal and he pays very little and shes afraid to have his payments updated even though now he makes a lot more money. He is not able to parent more than 2 hours a week and was never ready to be a dad. She says shes grateful because he gave him her kids and her mother has said the same thing. These women are delusional. He is a pathetic loser who is a half step above sperm donor daddy status. He is a man child, is very immature for his age, is approaching 40 and when hes not at work he eats mcdonalds and plays video games all night. He also has a mood disorder and addiction issues. The moodiness and video game obsession is already showing in the oldest. Great genes there to be thankful for.
Here's an Interesting Question
Here's an Interesting Question. . . I'll throw this out there. Does anyone ever think, and markw's post alludes to this, that secretly, most women want to be able to raise their children with their family, alone? And, by alone, I don't mean alone, alone. I just mean without bio-dad around. Seems like a/k/a the Kardashians, there are a lot of single women out there having kids or dumping bio-dad, for legit. reasons or not, and then being glorified by their family and friends, mostly other women, how great everything is and look at me and my kids!! I can do it all with them now, without any bother from bio-dad's personal influence or relatives?
Don't get me wrong. I'm all for supporting women who find themselves up the creek without an involved bio-dad, but sometimes I wonder if people aren't becoming so self-centered that they think little to nothing of having a kid and then kicking dad out the door, an added benefit (from their perspective) being that they can now have things the way they want. They falsely rationalize it is easier to have one parent, one set of rules vs. two parents that might have to juggle, or give and take on some rules/ issues. The one parent just wants the backing of their relatives, who more than likely will think or parent similarly. They don't want another parent, nor in-laws to deal with. And, they sure as heck don't want a step-parent to their children to deal with. And, then society turns around and backs them up on this, like nothing wrong at all with Kardashian Kids clothing for babies and toddlers at Babies"R"Us. The fact that pretty much all of the bio-fathers of these K- babies are absentee, heck!, that's even better for business.
Maybe it is just part of that trend I see now where the bigger be.atch or rule breaker or cheater or thief you are, the more fawning attention is going to be coming your way. What about those of us who are caring, empathetic, get married and then have babies, pay our taxes and don't complain about it, etc. Where are those role models? Currently, there sure as heck ain't much of 'em in mainstream media. But, women whose mother basically pimps them out, and woman who are famous just for being famous, and who are poster children for plastic surgery and a decandant lifestyle, well . . , let's give 'em a baby's clothing line. Just venting, but I still think my initial question is a interesting one: Does anyone ever think that secretly, most women want to be able to raise their children with their family, alone? Maybe not most, but I'm betting maybe more than people would think.
I think TONS of women do it
I think TONS of women do it for image too! I mean our BM, she hardly ever sees the skids, and she'll NEVER spend alone time with them (might be work, right?) Yet she sits there flaunting how awesome of a "single mom" she is.
She's completely useless and actually damages the poor girls... Yet because she had them we all have to respect that she is "mom." It makes ZERO sense.
Also every kid she's ever had (and is having) is an anchor baby...
Also Money
Not only are we supposed to feel “blessed” to have them in our lives, we’re also expected to want to spend all of our money on them because “they deserve it”.
BM recently told DH that one SS is getting braces this year and we have to pay $1000 in two weeks for those braces. I said, “well, I guess we’re not going on a family vacation this year...” and DH tried to argue with me. If he had saved enough of his own money to cover braces and / or a family vacation then fine, but he hasn’t...
BM over here did the same
BM over here did the same thing. She said that SS needed braces but yet she hadn't even taken him to the dentist yet but that we are responsible for half. I told DH that she can piss off. I get it that kids need things but we as SP's didn't procreate with a piece of human garbage and create these kids so why should we contribute to taking care of these kids. I agree that a NCP should be putting their own money aside for their kids out of their own paychecks.
Oh, don't I know it. We are
Oh, don't I know it. We are suppose to make our worlds revolve around the skids' and the gskids' worlds, and no matter how nasty they treat us, we are to kiss the ground they walk on. Now, doesn't that make sense? NOT
Of course, never say Boo about the biomom who brought these precious little disrespectful skids onto the planet and into our lives. Even, if the biomom was a psycho, lazy, self-centered nutjob,
And, don't forget to smile at all the step-poisoned relatives who keep reminding you just how lucky you are to be married to so much baggage. LOL