UPDATE: on our vday debacle.
SOoO, its been 6 days since my lovely children decided to ruin My and Fdh's v-day dinner. 6 loooong days. No tv, no ipod, no cell phones, you get the picture. Dd13 decided to write her apology letter to Fdh and I. Also she has gone above and beyond on household chores! GO DD! She has also decided that she (we did not tell her to write this into her letter, it was unprovoked!) Will do better concerning her manners, and not complaining when we can't afford the 4 hour round trip drive to take her to her friends house. She also wrote about her table manners and how she understands we're trying to make her a better person!! It makes my mothers heart so proud to read her letter and SEE how she understands what we are trying to do for her! She's been fighting us on chores, table manners, and weekly visits to said friends house EVERYDAY, she also apologized for the daily "snide" comments to me, Fdh, her brothers and sisters.
On to Ds15; he only started speaking again last night! He would not look Fdh or Myself in the face. He stayed in his room, only coming out AFTER everyone else had finished dinner to make his plate, then go right back to his room to eat it. I've been walking on eggshells around him for the last 6 days afraid he might blow up again. This is my SON, the one who will tell anyone who will listen he is a "Momma's Boy" and he wants to buy the house next door to Fdh and I so he can see his Momma everyday when he's grown-up! He actually came and had dinner w/us last night. And has tried to ease back into conversation with Fdh and I. I'm so confused at his behavior, he's usually the helpful, polite, loving one! Its making me wonder now what he and bio-dad have been talking about. Why all of a sudden has the boy who never wanted to leave his Momma so gung-ho to move 8 hours away to live w/bio-dad? He hasn't complained about the punishment but, he hasn't gone out of his way to make this right like Dd13 has either. He seems indifferent about it.
Any ideas? I'm just missing my Little boy right now. And I won't keep him from his Dad if that's what he truly wants to do. Its just breaking my heart to think he won't be around everyday to give me a hug or shout "Love Ya Momma" as he leaves to catch the bus for school.
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Here is the thing and this is
Here is the thing and this is just my experience. SD15 did this same pyscho move on us. It turned out that for months her and BM were planning on suing us for full custody. The therapist had a term for it that I can't remember but basically it is their way of justifying in their head, why they are about to do what they are going to do. Leave us and live with the other parent.
Same thing with SD, she lost it on DH one night and it was like a demon child. She was always a little argumentative, but nothing like this. Ultimately, we were served about a month after this and it was a complete shock...
Just keep in mind he is disengaging from you and there may be nothing you can do about it given his age.
I'm sure he IS disengaging
I'm sure he IS disengaging because he's unsure how to handle the feelings he's got now that Dad is getting better and the move is getting close. He has to realize I'm not forcing this, if I had a choice he would stay here with me. He is almost 16, and HE made the decision to go. I've never been the type to say "this is to hard, go to your dads" he came to me and asked if he could live w/dad and I told him if he felt he needed to be with his dad, sure. He does. So that's where we are.
Thanks. I would have never thought of that though. It makes perfect sense.
Thanks NSS, and yeah I'm
Thanks NSS, and yeah I'm exactly like that. I may not 'like" what is said but, I'd rather hear it than find out from a third party later then have to deal w/the lie AND the sneaky behavior. I guess I've got nothing to lose at this point. I'll have a little talk w/ds and see if he'll spill. He's not one for keeping secrets from me so he'll probably spill his guts.
The thing is he didn't say it
The thing is he didn't say it in anger. He has been asking for about a month. Xh was hurt and just released back to work. So he told ds15 he could come this summer when he was back on his feet.
I think you may be right about testing the waters and not knowing how to fix this. Sounds like ds15 to a T. He is usually calm, cool and collected. So he has no clue how to "fix" a blow out of this magnitude.