Wow, this year is busy....
Well, ten days down in the new year and I feel like things have been a whirlwind. We had three new file cabinets delivered today at the office and one of my employees is going to the hospital tomorrow to have labor induced. Nine months have seemed to fly by here and it seems like yesterday she was telling us she was pregnant.
Last night I had my cholesterol checked. I went from a 217 in August to 184 last night. Thats with losing 15 lbs and working out 3-5 times a week. I feel much better with myself and overall am much happier. Content even...although I do miss my father. Last year from late January to April we were just waiting around while the doctors told us he would not be around long. It was so hard to watch the vibrant, outgoing father I knew turn into what he was before he died. It was so hard on my daughter as well. he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in the winter of 1989. Almost 17 years dealing with the illness and him not being "there."
I told a friend that he became a child just as I "became" a man. I was 25 and he was 58. Five years after he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's my daughter was born. He got to enjoy eleven years of seeing her grow into a fine person who cares about others and is a beautiful young lady. I wouldn't trade those eleven years for all of the money in the world. Hearing him ask "How's our girl?" always brought a smile to my face. Perhaps he wasn't always able to understand what was going on, but he loved his granddaughter and she loved him.
Last year I was 41 and he passed away right before his 75th birthday. Not a year that I want to repeat, but I think the change has been overall very, good this last year. Hurtful at times; but the alternative...was not acceptable to me or in my daughter's best interest.
What a crazy mixed up world.
Kevin
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Ah, the forties!
You know, I think the forties are going to be my best age. I'll be 38 this summer and I have none of that desire to pretend like I'll be 29 forever or to shrink away if someone asks me my age. My thirties were better than my twenties and I know my forties will be even better still. I wouldn't want to be younger. I like where I am now, age-wise. There's something to be said for being grown-up, secure and yes, even settled.
My great-grandfather also had Alzheimer's, but back in the late seventies when he passed, it was just called senile dementia or "old folk's disease." His daughter, my grandmother, had died and he had a hard time grasping that. When my mother and I went to visit him, he always thought I was my mother and that my mother was my grandmother. Those last few years of his life, he always called me by my mother's name. He was just lost in time. It was very sad, but I'll treasure it always. I feel so lucky to just have known the man. He was incredible. I knew even as a child that the changes in his behavior were the disease talking, not the man. I have nothing but love for and fond memories of him. I'm sure your daughter will carry her memories of your father with her forever. And that's the real blessing.
One thing I know is that you have to endure a little rain to get the rainbow. You just have to take the happiness that comes your way when you find it and try not to let yourself get too weighed down by other people's unpleasantness. Life is very... bittersweet. But I wouldn't have it any other way. If you can't appreciate it, what's the point?
~ Anne ~
"Adjust on the fly, or you're going to cry."
Steve Doocy, The Mr. and Mrs. Happy Handbook
I agree
I join the magnificant 40's in April and can't wait!
My BIL's mom has been diagnosed with Alzheimers. Her Husband died last year of cancer and his biggest fear was how the kids would take care of her.
My good friend's mom died of it too, along with breast cancer. I'll never forget the day that he used our "say something positive" portion of our staff meetings to say, "my mom remembered my name today."
And my mom's best friend, who also happened to be my ex MIL's best friend (ex MIL died of cancer right before our wedding) was just diagnosed. My mom wrote an essay about her and submitted it to Reader's Digest. In it she talks about her friend saying, "We sure had some wonderful times, didn't we? Please tell me what they were again."
So very sad....My heart goes out to you.
Peace, love, and red wine
Don't mean to side track...
I'll be quick...
But you just reminded me of when we used to visit DH's great aunt, who was really more like a grandmother to him. She had Alzheimer's too, and she always thought that I was BM... used to call me by her name, bring up things that I had no idea what she was talking about. Boy... that was hard to swallow, but what can you do, she was trapped in her own time...
Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...
klinder
You are a great mentor for all the people struggling with relationships. People need to realize that regardless of how bad the situation is, it does get better, and people can be happy again.
Hey read my quote, so true.LOL
Also want to say i love what you write and how you write about your Dad ,you should keep parts of it for your daughter.
I am in process of watching my father go and have to say that I thank God for this last year , we did not think he would make it this long and it hit him out of the blue one day picking up my boys from school last november.
I hope your mom is doing well also.
I am 41 and love it, and believe the best is yet to come.
"We don't understand life anymore at 40 then at 20, but we know it and admit it" Jules Renard
That's a great idea for Kevin!
Saving his writings about his dad for his daughter. When I was pregnant with BS10, I started filling out his baby book and when I got to the family tree section it started a major project for me. I started digging through family albums, papers, etc. and quizzing my old fart relatives to find out who's who and all that. I thought it would be a nice idea to put together a little family history with photos and stories to go along with the names and dates. Anyway, I'm still working on it and it's gotten quite large, but I think it will be wonderful for my children to have someday and maybe pass along to their own children. I love history and was fortunate to grow up with all of grandparents and most of my great-grandparents. I want to pass that down to my children and their children, a sense of the history of their family.
~ Anne ~
"Adjust on the fly, or you're going to cry."
Steve Doocy, The Mr. and Mrs. Happy Handbook