Not too cheery today...
Eight months ago my father passed away, he had been ill with alzheimer's since my first semester of law shool (1990). He managed to live at home until 2000. My father was a strong and intelligent man. When he was young he had polio and was told he would never walk again. Regardless he built a successful business. He and my mother were married over 50 years and they had me and my brother (seven years older than me).
In 2000, we had to move him to a boarding home. He did manage to see my daughter (his only grandchild) born. In August of 2006 his health had gone down so far that he had to be moved to a nursing home.
We were told in February that he had pneumonia and was dying. It was one of the hardest days in my life to see him die. My mother and father had a wonderful relationship.
I was driving back to town a few weeks ago and realized that he was diagnosed with alzheimers when I was 25. When I grew up he became a child. I was never able to share what a lot of children do with their parents -- grow up and eventually talk to them on a one on one basis about life.
I can only assume that he would be proud of what I have done with my life. It was always obvious that he loved his granddaughter and she loved him in return.
Just a blue, rainy dreary day today.
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dads
Those of us that have lost a parent understand how you feel and what you are going through. Its a testament to what kind of parents you had because you are such a wonderful dad yourself. 8 mos is not very long in the grieving process, which takes a very long time. I lost my dad many many years ago and even now I get tears in my eyes when I think about him.
Wow, I'm sorry about your dad
I lost my dad just over 12 yrs ago. He passed two days after my 30th b-day. I know how you feel. I miss my dad too, he was my hero. My father was an amazing person and taught me some very valuable life lessons. (Of course, at the time I thought he was just being mean) My parents were married for 32 years. I feel sad that he was never able to meet my daughter or see how far I have come in my life.
My dad had a major stroke on St. Patty's day of '95 and never left the hospital. He passed about one month after that. For me, to watch such a strong, intelligent and capable person become silenced and just sort of wither away was very tough.
It is sort of dreary here today as well. Windy and cold. I hope your day gets better.
Georgie
I am sooooo sorry to hear
I am sooooo sorry to hear about your heartache. While I haven't responded to you much I have a deep respect for what kind of person you are from what I have seen in your posts and I know you will get through this one day at a time.
I am sending prayers of strendth and comfort to you at this time.
((((((BIG HUG))))))
Lisa Dawn
d
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It's tough at times
I lost my grandfather when I was 4 (that was a bad year for me) but I remember him well... like the time he told me to pull his finger, or the time he said he was going to discipline me & I knew he wouldn't (he was so sweet.) All the father figures in my life since then have been... well, they sucked. One was a bully & the other always put me down & hated my presence. It's tough, even today, because it often feels like I don't have that father figure to back me up, give me support & help me get that back bone. But when I really need it I use my imagination. If my grandfather were here I know what he would do, what he would say. He'd never allow anyone to treat me like crap. Because of that, I don't allow people to treat me like crap either. Keeping him alive in my mind helps me keep that connection & relationship I had with him. It also helps me overcome the unfairness of it. It might be crazy, but it's my way of dealing with it.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I know it's especially hard when the holidays come around. Do something really nice for yourself (or maybe do something for your dad, like make a donation in his name) & remember, you have friends here.
Hipi
When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.
Soooo Sorry Klinder
I go through those days too. My Grandfather passed away in '93 and I still get blue - esp around the time he died. Thing is, he was my step-grandpa and I was closer to him then my Dad's father. I can still see him sitting in his chair in the living room reading the paper, cussing out all the politicians.
What you speak of is what I dread every day. My Dad is everything to me. I love him so much. He was diagnosed with MD (and a rare form of MD, so of course not much research going on with that one) three years ago, and it's been so hard for me to see the man that I thought was the strongest guy on earth deteriorate and need a wheelchair. He can hardly walk, and can't stand for very long either. I've told my Husband many times, get ready, if/when something happens, I will be a basket case.
Went off on a little tangent there. Take comfort that you were there for/with your dad...you were able to care for him. Hope that your feeling better.
Sorry Kevin..
to hear about your father. I have lost both of my parents, my mom at 66 and my dad at 75. It is a very strange feeling when both your parents are gone...it's like no one can tell you any more about your childhood and things you did that you don't really remember. So I understand how your father getting Alzheimer's when you were so young must have affected you. I became a great friend with my mom when I got older, it was very hard to loose her.
Take care and I hope your feeling better as the new week starts.
Hanny
Hey Kevin...
Just wanted to say I'm sorry.....
My dad is in his final days....cancer. So I know what you've gone through.
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."