Skids behavior at their moms compared to their dad.
When we have the boys they are normal kids and do normal kid/teen stuff. Nothing over the top e.i. getting tickets or fighting every once in a while or not taking a shower until we tell them and crap like that. Everything they have done I know it is normal behavior that they are are just trying to push us like normal kids. Same crap i did as a kid.
HOWEVER as soon as the boys walked into their moms house yuck is calling dh and tell him all the crap the boys are doing things like threatening her and calling her names and throwing fits like 2 yr olds. Last night apparently they were threatening her b/c they wanted to open some of their gifts and told yuck that they demand to open them. I have heard the way they talk to their mom and it is very disrespectfully. They are rude and nasty to her.
We have talked til we are blue in the face but we are not there so we can't do anything. Yuck has to be the one to enforce rules and consequences. We live an hour from her.
So my question is are any of you ladies in this situation? Where the skids are behave fairly decent with normal kid crap but nasty to their other parent?
I know why we don't have as many issues as their mom does with them. B/c dh and I PARENT ALL our kids the same and don't let them get off for pushing the boundaries. I mean MOST kids will push to see how far they go and what they can and can;t do. That is normal for any kid but is how you handle is the key.
So how many others have skids that are fairly good at your house but a holy terror at their moms?
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Same thing at our house.
Same thing at our house. FSD11 talks back to her mom and apparently they scream and yell at each other. FSS14 says he doesn't do what him mom tells him to do because if he ignores her she will do it herself.
Different houses different rules. We have figured out we cannot control what goes on at crazo's but we will have control over what goes on at our house.
We give and get respect from the skids.
I am living this nightmare.
I am living this nightmare. It's horrible. SS9 is okay, a very mellow pleasant child. SS6...apparently is uncontrollable when with BM and at school. He's got fits and issues at our house occasionally, but nothing compared to over there. We feel the same way, can't control what goes on over there, but they know the rules at our house and abide pretty well. I am BM myself so I think I am a bit harder on mine at home bc I same rules for all kids apply, and I sure don't want to send my kids to BF and SM all PAS'd out and what not. If BM would discipline properly and not USE BF's as a tool for good or bad behavior, I think a lot of issues would be resolved, but that's just me!
We had this problem with SS.
We had this problem with SS. His behavior was fine during visitations with DH. He listened to DH and behaved, used manners and usually picked up his belongings before he went home to BM. DH and I never had problems with SS talking back or disobeying us, but he also knew that DH and I would give consequences if he didn't behave.
BM never followed through with any punishments for SS. When she remarried and SF gave consequences, BM would override his punishments while SF wasn't at home and totally underminded him. Then, she would call DH to complain how bad SS was acting and how he needed to do something about it because he was SS's dad. (I think this is a PAS technique aimed at making DH the bad guy - even in BM's home.)
After many years of this crap, DH finally put an end to it when SS was 16. He told both BM and SS to knock it off. If they wanted his help, they should have listened to him over the past 15 years but since they didn't he was finally waving the white flag. He told them it was apparent that they didn't want his help and only wanted to point fingers in his direction so he was done. He disengaged for an entire year. No more BM drama and getting in the middle of SS's she-said/he-said game. It was probably one of the best decisions he ever made regarding SS.
My husband recently went out
My husband recently went out the dinner with my SD13 and her BM to talk over some issues they were having with SD13 and school. I thought it was a good idea and really didn't mind. When DH came home he said he was shocked at how SD13 who knows manners and how to act in a resturant was acting like a 3 year old. He was embarressed to see the true SD13 when she is not around us. She was playing with her food, stopping the conversation, making faces at her mother things she would never do with us. He asked BM if she was always like this and BM said that her acting like that was nothing new and she puts up with it all the time. I get compliments on how well behaved SD13 is from family and friends. So why does she act like this with BM?