They went and spent time with SD22 two days ago, and since then they have been acting even more indifferent towards me. They are difficult towards me, rude, won't talk to me most of the time, etc. anyways, but now when I'm in the living room they just simply hang out in their bedrooms. I know, I should be thankful right? But it's hard living in a house where I'm ignored. I hate being here. I love it when my daughter is here, but the weeks that she is with her Dad, its awful here. My husband isn't much of a talker -- didn't realize that when we were dating, but now that we are married -- well, let's just say I spend a lot of time when I'm home "alone".

SD22 has "disowned" both my DH and I, and of course is bad mouthing us to everyone who will listen, and that includes all three siblings. We know that she bad mouthed us to SS21 because he told DH that SD22 said a "lot of horrible things" about DH to SS21. Great. I know, surprise.

The way I see it is that all this negative that is being filled into their minds IS affecting the way they feel about me. I'm simply tired of being the "scape goat." I'm also tired of her "poisoning" them and their minds. It's like she is the BM and filling in for her, and trying to destroy our marriage. Sometimes it feels like that. Then to top it off, my DH wants us to buy SD22 a gift for Christmas. Seriously? I don't want to!! I'm tired of trying and doing things for them only to be seen the same way. Putting my heart out there to be stomped on. Christmas is especially hard because I'm the one who purchases all the gifts, wraps them all, does all the decorating, working extra hours so that we have money to pay for Christmas, planning, etc. Never to be appreciated.

With my DH, I tried to have a conversation with him the last few days, but if there was a computer screen or a television screen he didn't even look at me or hear me. Pissed me off. Then when I ask him later about something I said -- he'll say that I didn't tell him that. He doesn't remember because he doesn't listen to me. I went to a bazaar and purchased a beautiful table runner and was showing it to him, and he makes a snide sarcastic comment, and then when I get upset, then he says "I was just joking". I told him I guess I should just keep information to myself and not talk to him then since its not interesting to him. Then later when my dog was itching -- she has skin issues, and now that we have the dog, and I've fallen in love with her and turns out that she love sme best, now nobody in the house likes her except me and my BD17. Even SD16 wanted her and begged for her when we were considering rescuing the dog. So my dog is itching up a storm, and he tells me to spank her. I told him I'm not spanking her for itching....so I started petting her and was telling her to stop, because she will get "stuck" and keep itching if you don't stop her. Then he says "your dog is a bitch". I realize he was trying to be funny --- but after the earlier comment, and after all the comments all the time about my dog by the kids, it pissed me off. The kids are always making comments about chopping up the dog and freezing her, etc. Really rude, and then when I get upset, they say they are just joking.....yah, whatever.

I'm just tired of being treated like shit. Oh, and at night, SS18's bedroom is above ours. And every single stinkin' night we have to tell him to BE QUIET. Seriously??! Every night? Get a clue. Pull your head out of your butt and be considerate for a change. He's up there banging around, talking loud, blah blah blah. We have to remind him EVERY NIGHT to be quiet. I'm so tired of this crap. I realize it could be a whole lot worse. I don't want worse, I probably would be out of here so fast if it was.