At a loss of what to do
SS got fired from his Starbucks job. His loser cousin from his mother's side decided to go there while he was working and make a scene. I saw this kid before and he is a disgrace. He tries to act like some sort of gangster. My BIL told me that SS was on shaky ground because of that but when he could not put in hours on a weeknight when he has sports practice, they fired him. He has been trying to get another job but he cannot seem to find one. My BIL only found out about all this when SS came to stay over on the weekend.
The insurance company is still being a bastard and has not given the money over. It looks like it might go to court. SS is having to get food from his school food bank. My SIL was telling me all he was getting was soup and bread over there. SS is in a college sports team. He needs a good diet. My DH is struggling with this information. He wants nothing more than to help out.
My DH has also went to watch SS's game in secret. He watched and left without talking to SS. I warned him it might make things worse but he really wanted to see his son play. We are feeling quite gloomy about all this. I wish SS would let us help. My DH might try talking to a friend who owns a Subway into giving SS a job. And make it secret of course. But I see this blowing up in his face just like everything else. We will see how it goes. And that insurance company is f****** pissing me off! I want to pummel all of them.
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Comments
I'm so sorry to hear this.
I'm so sorry to hear this.
Poor kid. Can SS get any of her Social Security suvivor's benefits by any chance?
I think you should drop him
I think you should drop him off some cash. Not a check he could rip up. Have the BIL give it to him...
You could talk to his coach
You could talk to his coach and give money like a sponsorship and the coach can give it to him. That way it will by secret and dh can help when he really needs it. Of course since it would be a sponsorship the coach can't tel who did it.
Tell the coach to tell son that someone noticed all he has been going through and knew he needed help and didn't want to get credit or have any focus on them and prefer to not be known.
When he gets tired of soup &
When he gets tired of soup & bread he'll find something else. I say you leave it alone & when he's ready to accept help from people he'll ask.
It seems your SS is really very determined to make his own way. It seems to be very important to him to do so. I think that trying to talk friends into doing favors by giving him a job is going to be taken as overstepping.
The fact that your DH is attending his games in secret seems creepy, given the history of "run-ins".
He's a big boy. He's in college, & he's finding ways to be independent. LET him do it! The more you & your DH interfere, the harder things are going to be to reconcile. I guarantee that if your DH doesn't stop things are only going to get uglier.
I agree it's difficult to
I agree it's difficult to watch your children struggle, but he is making it. He knows they are available for help & he'll ask for it when he's ready to accept it.
Struggling builds character, & it teaches valuable life-lessons. Working hard to make your own way isn't a bad thing.
I came up with the idea as it
I came up with the idea as it was a blessing to us when my dd made the cheer team and we did not have the money to fu nd it but I was going to do my darnest. But one day the coach came up to me and said her whole year had been paid to not worry about and she couldn't say who it was. I did find out who it was but only b/c I accidently came across it.
however if ss doesn't want any contact with his dad he will never find out who it was. But when he is ready to see his dad and he finds then he will accept it at that point b/c he has accepted his dad back in his life.
When he gets tired of soup &
When he gets tired of soup & bread he'll find something else. I say you leave it alone & when he's ready to accept help from people he'll ask
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I agree!
If I were the dad I would
If I were the dad I would still go but just keep your distance - he can't get that time back seeing his son play. If it is a public place, SS can just live and let live - not everything is about him. Really!!