Ok, I love my SS7 to DEATH! He's a great kid! Very sensitive, sweet, charming, and loving. BUUUUUUUUUUT we've had some issues with him lately and to be honest, I just want to be away from his as often as possible!

It's only been going on for a few weeks since he got back from his mom's. That's the problem and I know it .. she's the most manipulating woman in the world and she brainwashes that poor kid beyond belief! The minute FDH and I told SS7 that we were getting married he goes "YAY! You're getting MARRIED! My mommy is going to be so mad at me!" and then he got all quiet. So I asked him later why she would be mad at HIM and not me or Daddy. And he goes "because everything is my fault with mommy" Poor kid has a very shitty life over there.

Anywho, back to my frustration with him! I need some advice on what to say to him when he starts making excuses for everything. Here's an example of it which happened last night .. not good!

We were all down in the basement and were heading upstairs to get ready for bed after watching a movie. SD4 was putting away her little couch bed and SS7 was coming out of the playroom. I saw him start running for her and I yelled "SS7 don't you dare!" and he jumps over her onto the sectional, meanwhile kicking her in the stomach. She of course doesn't even cry (she's very mature for her age) and she just yelled his name. I was about to punish him but got distracted by the dog. So we go upstairs and I hear SS7 yell down to me that his sister just hit him. So I run upstairs and see SD4 sitting on the potty and I asked her "did you hit your brother?" and she just stared at me. So I asked her again, "did you hit your brother??" and finally she goes "I'm just tired" So I explained to her that I don't care how tired she is, you never hit. And she goes "well you never punished SS7 for kicking me in the stomach! And he never even said sorry" I had totally forgotten about this while I was dealing with our crazy dog.

So I tell SD4 to say sorry to her brother and SS7 to say sorry to his sister and give each other a hug and kiss. So of course SS7 mumbles something under his breath and then starts to tell me that it was an accident, he didn't even know she was standing there and she should have moved because he was jumping onto the couch. So I said "no, I don't want to hear excuses, it's a HUGE sectional and you could have jumped any where but you decided to jump over her and you hurt her, so say you're sorry and lets drop it!" So he goes "I did!" and I said "no you didn't, plus you never gave her a hug and kiss" He thought that by mumbling "sorry" under his breath so no one could hear him was ok. And I told him "no, you're 7 years old, you tell her you're sorry to her face so we can all hear you!" And finally he did. Well then he's going to the bathroom and he's still trying to make excuses about how he shouldn't have had to say sorry because he hurt her on accident but she hit him on purpose. I explained that we always say sorry if we hurt someone even if it's an accident. He proceeds to argue with me! Finally I go "no more excuses!!!!!!" and kind of yelled it. He yells back through tears "I'm going to throw you in the garbage!!!!!"

If looks could kill I probably would have harmed him. I was so mad at him! He usually never talks back unless he's REALLY mad! So of course I told him to hightail it to his room in a VERY stern tone. He just goes "NO!" and then walks out of the bathroom, so I tapped him on the butt with the brush I was using on SS4's hair, of course he FREAKS out and goes "OWWWWWWWWWWWWW" and runs into his room crying. I'm so sick of his excuses! I need advice on how to get him to just apologize! And then he plays these games where he says his apologies under his breath and thinks they're ok! UGH!

Also as he's laying in bed I explained everything to him about how we can't make excuses, we can't lie, we have to be nice and respectful, we don't talk back .. blah blah blah .. he of course doesn't say a word. So FDH comes into his bedroom and lays down on the bed also and we both asked SS7 if he wanted to just sleep in his underwear since it was a warm night and he had long pants and a long fleece shirt on. So he doesn't answer. So then we say "ok lets say our prayers." And FDH and I start saying them, SS7 doesn't say a word. So we asked him once more, lets say your prayers. And he doesn't do a thing! So then we go "ok you had your chance, good night" and he goes "I wanted to take my jammies off and you guys didn't do it for me!" and starts crying. Really????? You needed us to physically pull the covers back and undress you?? Uh, I think not. Once again one of his games! I just walked out of the room and let FDH deal with it.

So that was last night, on a side note: This past weekend FDH's family was staying with us. FDH has a nephew who is also 7. SS7 and him are really close .. So SD4, SS7, and the nephew were all in SS7's bedroom in the morning hanging out. Everyone else in the house was still sleeping so I put a movie on for SD4 to watch and SS7 and the nephew were playing his PSP video game. So I was doing laundry and all of a sudden I hear SS7 go say to SD4 "this isn't even your room, you should be in your own room watching a movie, I'm putting on a different movie because it's MY room." So I open the door and say to SS7 in a calm voice, "you need to leave SD4 alone, she's just quietly watching her movie and your aunt is sleeping in her room that's why she's not in there. You and the nephew were nicely playing your videogame, so just keep doing that and just let SD4 be." Then I walked out of the room and closed the door. I put my ear against the door to see if he would bug SD4 again. Instead, I hear him say to his cousin "See, that's what she's really like."

I opened that door so fast and scared the living shit out of him. It was the face of someone getting caught talking bad about someone behind their back. I go "that's what I'm really like?? Do you know how much that hurts my feelings and breaks my heart? I do everything for you and that's how I get treated?" And he just stares at me, not an ounce of remorse. And I go "do you know how that mad me feel??" and he goes "sad" So I said, if I'm that bad I should just take all your videogames away. He starts BAWLING! I'm like REALLY?? The minute I bring up videogames you bawl, but seeing me with tears in my eyes didn't make you one bit sad? He just kept bawling and I just left the room.

So thank goodness I have such a great FDH .. he was very upset and comforted me and told me he'd have a talk with him. So later the next night, I was done doing laundry and I had been sick that day so I was laying in bed. SS7 comes up to me and says he wants to lay in bed with me for awhile. So he lays his head on my chest and said he was sorry and that he really loves me and doesn't want me to start being mean like his mommy. So I go "wow SS7 that makes me really happy that you understand how I felt and you feel bad, I'm glad Daddy talked to you." and he goes "What? Daddy didn't talk to me? What was he going to talk to me about?" So FDH came upstairs and I said "glad you talked to him, thank you!" And he goes "what? I haven't had a chance to talk to him yet, what do you mean." So SS7 did that all on his own! YAY improvement!