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Step Away from my Husband

Susanna's picture

This has been going on for a while. Whenever bm gets a chance she corners my hb and says the most hurtful, guiltrip inducing things she can. My hb comes home and I am the one helping him through this.

Her latest is to criticize him for not spending enough time with his kids. She will not allow him any more time than the parenting plan clearly outlines and sometimes he's lucky to get that. He can't have SD on Sundays because he is working for the money that supports his kids. She is viciously saying that it means he doesn't love his kids because he goes to his job on Sundays.

I will probably stay out of it, but I am REAL tired of her laying these guilt trips on him. What kind of Mother doesn't allow her child more time with the Father?

Two minutes ago my sd called hb a loser and I went off explaining to her that her Dad works every day so she can have food to eat and clothes to wear and if she had a loser for a father she would not have those things. I'm sure that came striaght from BM, but I am just not having it in my house. I have no illusions that hb is perfect but he deserves better than the way he is getting treated.

This ex-husband bashing is getting old fast.

// Susanna

Chocoholic's picture

THe dh bashing DOES get very old, very quickly.
I'm glad that you set sd straight.... hopefully you can get your point across loud and clear that she is NOT allowed to disrespect DH in your house!

"Don't be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people ever have is when they take a bite out of you."

Sita Tara's picture

I so understand. I must say though that these past several years my SD usually recognizes bad behavior from her mom. We don't criticize BM that way but she does us. As a matter of fact SD isn't ALLOWED to mention us over there, even her baby sister which is hurtful to her. The only time she did mention the baby, her mom told her, "You are more important than THAT baby and your dad knows it." SD also feels compelled to defend me to her mom often when she makes fun of me (usually it's b/c I stay at home with the kids so I'm a loser.) I've told her she doesn't have to defend me. But it sucks for sure.

Hang in there and keep supporting your H. He doesn't deserve it and it sounds as though it's all her insecurity. At least that's my take. She feels inferior and therefore needs to make the kids think she's the better parent so she has to knock him down a notch (or TEN.)

Also be warned....my sd pulls out little cracks at us like that when she wants to distract us OR get more attention from us.

Good luck!
Peace, love, and red wine

Most Evil's picture

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