I completely agree and I honestly don't even know why that decision is so hard on me to do so. The communication is completely gone. Just this morning, she made a mistake and attempted to blame me for the situation, but finally, I was able to have her "remember" because I wasn't going to back down this time. There isn't any passion left and as I said earlier about the communication, it gets really bad when I feel as though she talks to the ex-husband more than me and jumps quickly to do what he wants, but is annoyed when it's something I ask. It's almost laughable at this moment. I appreciate your answer and I completely agree with it. I guess it's just about taking that first step to walk away from this because it's absolutely true that she is not going to change because there would have been some little change that has been noticeable, but there isn't and there won't be. It just sucks that I allowed it to get this far and didn't see the behavior in the beginning. I appreciate your honesty and finally someone agreeing with me, instead of calling me names and/or blaming the irrational feelings that I have when I attempt to call out the behavior. 

The texts are awful and sometimes even to his own mother. I remember one saying she needed to go to hell and whatever she touches turns to s*** and then he turns to me and blames me if he was told no that he couldn't do something (this is completely rare and doesn't ever happen, so I was shocked that she told him no) and send me that I'm a stray dog that need to get out, that I'm controlling of his mother because some days she doesn't wear make up, I never allow her to talk to his dad (they talk every day and she deletes messages and phone da from her phone) and how no one likes me in the house, it would be better without me around. Now, he never says this stuff to my face and is usually always at his dads house when he sends these to me mostly, but mostly to her about me and she ends up telling me to let me know that I need to fix the relationship with her kid. Here's a good example: I just got home from work and Mom told me that he needed to talk to me and to try to apologize and I need to hear him out and give him another chance (this is like number 258). Of course I agree, but then I received a phone call from my parents saying that my own father had to be rushed to the hospital due to complications. While I was on the phone, he came outside to try to talk to me and I put my index finger out to tell him to hang on. That pissed him off more than anything and according to one of my Foster Kids, he slammed the door and screamed at the top of his lungs, "I hate that F'ing Bi***" I had no idea that happened because I was on the phone and Foster Kid came out and asked what happened and I was confused because how would he know something happened with my dad, and he said with her kiddo and explained to me what behavior he was displaying. I got off the phone with my parents and instead of rushing to see my own father, I wanted to deal with him for the first time and let him know how I truly feel. I walk in the door and Mom is not on the couch and neither is the son. I was told they were upstairs. I was thinking to myself that I could get two in one shot, which was definitely needed. I get to his room and of course she is completely babying him and telling him how sorry she is for what I'm doing to him. After I heard that I barged into the room and let him and her know the situation and definitely raised my voice about what he called me because he didn't get what he wanted right at that moment. That didn't work out in my favor, as Mom said that he didn't know I was on the phone and I said just stop, you're not helping the situation. He knew I was on the phone because I had it up to my ear and told him to hold on until I was done and then this happened? All because you didn't get what you wanted and you think it's okay to treat me the way you do? It was complete silence from Mom to back me up on what he did. I asked her if she was going to say something and she said that she doesn't believe that he knew I was busy and thought I just didn't want to talk to him. Okay, even if that was the case, does that make it okay for him to speak about me the way he did and then you come and baby him as if he deserves that? Mom still did not take my side and that will be the same reaction all the time. There are way worse stories than this, but I don't want to get kicked out of this site due to language and other stuff that could be used to describe their behavior. 

She had a job, so I don't know if she would be using me to pay for the bills even though I do make a little bit more than she does, but I think she uses me in a different aspect to make sure the house is clean, laundry is done, and everything else that a house needs because her own children can't help around the hose as that would be a sin, but she does not even give a second thought for her kid to help around the house, but you don't! He gets away with every thing and it's never his fault, always mine. 
 

I threatened to contact law enforcement on him as he was doing that. I also threatened to take the bat myself and break anything of his will be destroyed. I was once again the one to blame and she allowed him to go to his dads because he was  "stressed and he felt really bad about it. I asked about what is the consequence, so maybe we can come up with something together, but that didn't work and she said that he can only be grounded at our house and I said yeah,I know because you don't live there anymore, so you can't parent over there either. Next week came and nothing happened to the kiddo and her excuse what that he had to be with his dad, so I think that's enough punishment for him. 
 

Thank you very much for your response. I understand everything that you've said and have thought it plenty of times in my head, but I can never seem to make that jump to head out that door, or vice versa, which she would have to leave because it's my house, but I'm nervous for her kids, it's probably too late for the 15 year old boy, but there is still hope for the girl who is just 6. 
You are absolutely correct on the mutual abuse between her ex and her self. They would go at it all the time and it would become really intense at times when the boy was only a young one, and continued on, which is easily the result of his behavior as well. 
I honestly don't know what she is holding onto him for and tells me how it's for the kids to continue to be nice to him, which he still, either way, puts nonsense in his children's minds because they sometimes comes home and tell her what she says, but she continues to say that it could be worse if I try to set any boundaries, I can understand that, but what's more important? I've asked her to fight for her kids in court to get them full time, but she doesn't want to do that either. She even had him stop paying child support because she "felt bad". 
I do get what you're saying and I know it's time because I don't deserve this at all, but she likes to spend and spend and has a "luxury" mindset when it comes to things. I plan on leaving, it's just the when.