Yet another s-kid weekend is here. Lord, give me strength, or should I say patience?
Once again the dreaded weekend has arrived. After two weeks of peace and harmony, kind, loving and caring affection and attention, once again, I will be ignored, treated like I don't exist and dealing with screaming, wild, bratty, whiny, babied little monsters. I've tried all day to psyche myself up for it. I've told myself THIS weekend will be different and I'm going to try really hard to be sweet, nice, kind and just let it roll off my back. I'm going to try so hard to see my SO's parental heart and think it sweet when he treats his 6 year old daughter like she's two or when his severely ADHD 8 year old son is bouncing off the walls because SO doesn't like to give him his meds on the weekend. Like I said, Lord help me. And tonight we don't even have my son (8 yrs) here as a buffer. At least when my boy is here the boys do their thing and they aren't so demanding.
I know this sounds a bit selfish but if you read some of my other posts you'll see why I am like this. SO has guilty dad issues, I think, and it's getting harder and harder to swallow every time they come here. The last time they were here Sunday became a total nightmare, silent treatment, both of us irritated with each other and our kids beyond belief and the kids literally bouncing off the walls fighting and such. I can't do it again this weekend, I'll tell you that. I will snap and have to remove myself from the situation.
So pray for me here, folks! I'm going to do my best to make this a good weekend because I think if we have one like the last or worse it will be the end of the line for me and my SO. That would be very sad since we do love each other and get along very well the rest of the time. We've tried to discuss this briefly and we both know that if it continues this way or gets worse it won't be good; however, I guess I just doubt my SO's ability to change his negativity (jealousy over my relationship with his kids, favoring his daughter over all the kids, letting them get away with murder and not setting any limits or boundaries for them, and feeling guilty even spending five minutes with me or showing me the slightest bit of affection when his kids are around).
I'm going to do my very best here! I'll keep you posted!
Good luck SM! Probably
Good luck SM! Probably having a break from them gets you too relaxed & empowered. I wish I had a day like that...even when skids are "out", dog is "in" 24/7/365. And he requires alot of TLC from me because I'm his only hope.
If DH acted like that
If DH acted like that ("letting them get away with murder and not setting any limits or boundaries for them, and feeling guilty even spending five minutes with me or showing me the slightest bit of affection when his kids are around") I would make it a point to be gone (with my kids) as much of that weekend as humanly possible. Have you tried just being gone a lot when skids are over? If they are only over EOW? For your sanity and to make a point to DH?
I feel for you! Good luck this weekend!
It's fairly obvious that
It's fairly obvious that these skids who should be sleeping through the night are being NON parented by the custodial parent (usually the BM)
They on one hand, are treated like an infant b/c mommykins and daddykins don't ever want to see them grown up. Instead of being taught to self soothe as an infant and go back to sleep on their own they are constantly picked up like mommy's little stuffed animal.
The bio"parents" oddly enjoy the clinginess b/c it assuages their egos and makes them feel "wanted." Great way to create an emotionally crippled child and later, adult.
On the other hand, they are usually given what I call "adult spousal status" where they have equal if not greater than SM's input on adult issues such as where to eat, what they eat, when they eat, what house to buy, when they go to bed (bedtimes usually non existent)
This is a no win situation and usually results in budding felonious behaviour. Next it is looking the other way when the child blatently lies, becomes physically violent with others, becomes defiant etc.
100% authority and 0% responsibility. The balance of power is thrown off.
And b/c the skid has 100% authority and 0% responsibility, nature dictates that someone must get the opposite. . . and that is usually SM especially NCP SM. She gets assigned 0% authority (no say so; after all, it's not HER kid) and 100% responsibility (yet is expected to assume a parental role as far as caretaking and financial backing is concerned)
Oh man I feel for you. I am
Oh man I feel for you. I am the same way and it feels "good" to know I'm not alone. Kwim? I feel such high anxiety when my sd's come over every other weekend. I have 5 kids altogether on those weekends. I always promise myself it will be better and I will be positive. Then something happens and my mood goes way down.
My sd's are 11 and 13. My dh caters to them the whole weekend forgetting everyone else. It sucks and I hate feeling this way. They get treated like little princesses. Meanwhile everyone else is left behind because my dh can't get his head out of his ass.