Am I crazy?
It's been a long couple of weeks. I've pretty much been going crazy. I don't know how you all do it. DH talks to BM2 a couple of times a week. They have been talking about what happened between them, which I hate and told him so, he said I was right and there was no reason for him to talk to her except about SS. But he said he can't stop talking to her because she'll make it hard for him to see SS when he gets home. I said what's worse problems with her or problems with me...lol. Then Wednesday night we were talking and he said 'I'm afraid that when I get back, I'll have feelings about her", I hung up, the thought just made me sick. He kept calling back until I answered. Then he says that he meant feelings of upset that he missed out on 11 years of SS life. I'm not sure that I believe him. I'm afraid that he's playing both sides of the fence. I know that he enjoys me being jealous because I'm not normally a person who shows a lot of outward emotion, so it's really making him feel loved. So I kind of think that he said that to provoke me and didn't expect such an overwhelming response. But my crazy mind keeps telling me that maybe he really did mean it. He calls me ten times a day and today I got a card from him. Just an I love you, you're the best, I'll never do anything to ruin our marriage, card. But I feel like talking to her about anything, when he can't be sure SS is even his son, is ruining our marriage. And she and I are not speaking at all, which I'm glad about but she's telling DH that I'm telling her bad things about him, like I'm secretly planning divorce and stuff. And him being gone he's terrified anyway about what's going on here. And this whole time she's been telling me how she's commited to working on her marriage so I have nothing to fear from her, but then when I was talking to DH he says, Oh No, she's getting divorced. So why's she been lying to me all this time? I really don't know what to think. I don't want to be the reason that he doesn't see SS, or why she makes things hard, but I can't handle the back and forth nature. I talk to him I feel better, but all the time in between I feel sick and sad.
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Comments
REALLY BLUNT SO SORRY
This just eerkkedd me to no end, even if it does make him feel loved can't he find a less sensitive subject to make you jealous of? Honestly DH doesn't need to do all this bowing down friendly butt-kiss since if it is his son he does legally have rights too and theres not much she can do about it so maybe I missed something somewhere cause it seems like he wants to play nice with the ex instead of concentrating on how this might effect SS first then you and last should be the ex! Thats just my opinion.
As for the confusing stories it sounds like the ex wants your DH on the back burner just in case if not just to know that he chooses her over you(as far as who he trusts, believes or is being considerate of) we had aloy of the same situation in the beginning W/ BM trying to think she was more important than she was/is and playing those games and for a while DH understandably tried having a "friendship" type parenting relationship with her but she wasn't treating it that way at all- just a way to feed her need for power- I feel for you really I remember how frustrating it was before DH realized how badly it ticked me off when he was just able to write it off as her crazy ways since he does know her longer and lived with it.
I would not speak to her at all its just more stress that you don't need especially w/DH gone for now and the games are childish stuff to make her feel better, Avoid it if at all possible and be factual not friendly with her if you do have to talk to her.
Good Luck! Hope this helped I really don't know what got into me there.