You are here

Date night--the aftermath

Mamma Jamma's picture

Submitted by Mamma Jamma on Sun, 10/24/2010 - 1:10am

Date night itself went great, dinner and a movie and generally good all around. Except. I apparently have strep/ear infection/who-knows-what. I was bound and determined to go out--first time in a month! We'd been going out a couple times a week, so this has been a big change.

Well, I get sick like this every couple months, so I know the drill. Sleep is the only cure. I took cold meds, warned DH I'd probably sleep most of today, he was fine with that. (I emphasized that to him because last time I had a migraine on a Sat. and he seemed later to resent I'd "stuck" him with the kids all day without help). I woke up a million times during the night. Apparently I tossed and turned because he moved to the couch. Fine. I sleep better with him near but I get it.

Got woke up at 10 this am by SD talking to herself. (she's still in a play tent in our room-hers should be finished in a couple weeks--yay!!). She finally went downstairs and bothered DH (can't help it lol--wasn't just me to get woke up Smile ). FINALLY dozed off again, DH woke me at 1:30 to check on me. Told him I was still miserable, he said ok, no problem, just rest. So I did. 3:30 he comes back...kids wanna do this and that and need your help...and maybe you'd feel better if you got up?? (I did, but that's beside the point).

Fixed dinner, put up Halloween decorations, and took SD5 to the store to spend her allowance. I am feeling better, but not 100%.

Mentioned to DH I was worried about him, seems to need a smoke every 30 min to an hour lately. Seems like I never see him, other than last night. "well you slept til 3:30 today kinda hard to be together. And I can't give you the undivided attn. I did before the kids were here".

Of course the kids need attention. I don't begrudge them time with DH. I DO begrudge the 30-45 min cigarette breaks, 4-5 times an evening after the kids go to bed. We literally watch 30 min of tv before he leaves again to smoke.
I told him I'm worried about him.

He's also flipping out because he turns 50 on Sunday, and he apparently regrets 90% of his adult life.

Comments

Mamma Jamma's picture

Submitted by Mamma Jamma on Sun, 10/24/2010 - 1:23am

I can't help what he did in the previous 48 years before we met. I also don't hold his exes or his children against him. I knew they existed (and that Sybil is totally batty) before we got serious.

I do resent that he takes everything I say so darn personally. If I tell him something SD or SS has done, good or bad, he apologizes and says he's afraid this is too much for me. I want to smack him!! I KNEW before we got married that being a full-time stepmom to his kids was a possibility. He acts like I complain about them all the time. I don't. They're great kids, not angels, just kids. If they were my flesh and blood I'd complain about them, too, sometimes!! If I so much as look at him cross-eyed over something he thinks I'm pissed at him. Y'know, maybe I got dust in my eye or something. Chill!!!!!

Sorry, this is way longer than I meant. We had agreed that we can talk to each other about anything because we get along so well. But he WON'T talk about what's bothering him, and if I bring up something, he's so defensive I can't get a word in edgewise lately.

caregiver1127's picture

Submitted by caregiver1127 on Sun, 10/24/2010 - 7:46am

MammaJamma - when a man turns 50 I swear they go through a slight menopause - my husband got a little depressed and upset because he could not move as fast as the younger guys - it is also the time a man starts to think about retiring someday and starts taking stock of what he has saved and how far he has to go yet - the smoking is not good at that age and hopefully you can help get him to quit.

Feel better - glad that you had your night!

Mamma Jamma's picture

Submitted by Mamma Jamma on Sun, 10/24/2010 - 8:43pm

Yeah I've seen that...worrying himself to death lately because our business isn't booming and we are living on savings. SS10 also outruns him throwing football.

He will be fine...if I don't kill him before he gets over it lol. Just kidding. He's great and I'd never wish him harm. Just want him to get outta the funk.

If we ever get over being sick it'll get better.