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Skids and FH are stressing me out!

Newmomof5's picture

My FH sons are 11 and 12. They both have poor hygiene and it drives me nuts but I leave it to their father to mention it to them as I am not comfortable with talking to them about these things yet. And they live with their biomom the majority of the time. But now we are coming up on summer and the boys are out of school. They are currently at our place for 2 weeks. 2 weeks that I didn't agree to, but my fh and the boys bmom agreed to. No one talked to me about it. I can't help but feel a bit disappointed that this happened. Then of course to hear my FH reasoning that his ex is just going to complain "well they are your kids! aren't you married to them first?!" would be her comments according to him. Bmom is a very controlling angry woman.

His schedule before we met was that he has his biokids every other 2 weeks at a time in the summer. MY schedule with my biokids is that me and my ex exchange them every other week. This gives me 2 weeks without children every month. It's quite lovely. Now with my fh he wants to leave everything "as is" with the scheduling and that only gives us one week per month without children. I don't like it, I don't want it that way and I can't find a compromise. FH is afraid of the controlling ex and I just want more time alone.

I also hate to admit that I can't stand my FH sons. They are obnoxious boys and they bicker all the time. It causes my fh to get frustrated with them which is NOT helping. There seem to be so many factors adding to our stress right now that me and fh don't seem to get a minute alone because his boys are in constant need of his attention. I understand, but I would still like to have time with him alone...not with his sons beating down our door every 5 minutes that we try to have.

Small apt. + 7 people and 3 cats, working from home and away 12hrs a day + trying to find time to plan a wedding + financial stresses + scheduling stresses + no alone time + only having 1 car = I can't function. I am so stressed I just want to cry all day.

Relaxation tapes don't help and I can't find enough space or privacy to do yoga anymore. Any suggestions? Sorry this is so scattered. Needed the vent.

buttercookie's picture

Your husband needs to set up a shower time for them and he needs to start disciplining them for being so obnoxious they disrupt the household. He shouldn't be making plans without your involvement

KTL's picture

Everyone needs a bath schedule tell them, so you all have your time in the bath. As far as a wedding and time alone, You need more time alone to move for ward in this relationship, that is why your stressed (red flag). Let some of these issues be settled before you plan a wedding, im sure you want it for keeps right? what is a little more time.