I hate myself sometimes for the way I feel towards my stepdaughter's mother. Stepparents definitely get the short end of the stick from my experience, but I have made the most of it and in the end I received the unconditional love of my stepchild who I view as my own daughter and she even calls me "Mom". Her biological mother finally abandoned her almost a year ago and so I'm going to adopt her. The last few years have been a hell though dealing with the bio mom and I feel I have PTSD from it. My husband and I spent years going back and forth from court to get joint parenting time then sole parenting time to now her parenting time suspended and me in the process of adoption. Her mother recently came back into the picture via phone and it makes my blood boil in anger. I hate that woman for everything she has done to my child and to my husband and myself. She left her child without a word and then pops up like nothing even happened, but blame on us. This woman blames EVERY SINGLE THING on us. She has never taken any accountability for her actions. From telling our daughter to not love us, to call us different names, telling her we are rapists, abusive, etc. She has posted pictures of our vehicles and license plates saying we were stalking her which was not true as we were just doing an exchange for our daughter. This resulted in her family or friend threatening to kill us and police didn't do anything. In the end she will say how we did all these things and completely reverse it. My husband and I had to put our daughter in therapy for years due to the back and forth. I was so happy when bio mother finally left honestly. My daughter is moving on and we are a happy family and our daughter wants me to adopt her to be her mom. Even though time has passed and the battle is almost truly over why do I hold this much anger at the thought of that woman? I try to move forward, but I hate that woman.  As a stepparent you can never do right in most people's eyes, but I truly with all of me love my stepdaughter.  I was fine with just being the stepparent and letting bio mother do her thing and parent and raise her, but she never stepped up to the plate. I got blamed for being there for our daughter so she could have somewhat of a stable environment without the chaos. Then bio mom would say I was trying to replace her and when I would pick her up from school she would play tug of war with our daughter when it was our week which resulted in multiple police calls for her to stop. I just wanted the war to end. It is now almost over as she lost all her parenting time (custody), but my anger hasn't ended. Why? Can anyone please give me insight on why I am so angry when it comes to this woman? She may have been an awful person to us, but why can't  I be a better person and move on? I really want to stop feeling so angry and be able to heal, but it seems impossible.