my stepson made me cry the other day when i went to pick him up from school. i was looking forward to seeing him b/c my husband and i have been working so much lately, we have only been able to see him one day each week, when we normally have two or three. we have really missed him, and he called us the night before crying and freaking out. he wanted us to come pick him up that night, but his dad had to be at work, and i had to be in class, and he had to be at school very early the next day. when he is in school (he is six), we have a hard time anyway trying to get any amt of time with him, because they live almost an hour away. he can spend the night, but we have to be up by 5:30 to get him to school on time. we just do what we can until summer vacation gets here, and then we get to keep him pretty much every other week.
so we have seen him 3 times in about 3 weeks. i was picking him up from school, so excited, b/c we were going to go have some fun until his daddy got home from work. this way, he could spend the night w/ us twice this week. i bought him a bag of cheetohs, his favorite, and waited for him to get off of the shuttle bus at the high school (this is where we always pick him up).
his mother showed up at the last minute, and came to chat with me while i waited. she started talking about my brother-in-law's myspace blog, and if i thought that he was doing alright, and he sounds kind of scary lately. the bus pulled up, and my ss comes running up to us, looking very happy, giving hugs, and ripping open his cheetohs. his mother then says to him "ok you have to go to dadd'ys now. i love you, ill miss you, give me goodbye kisses b/c i won't see you until tomorrow" he has started crying by now and wont let go of her neck. then he starts saying that he misses mommy, and has missed her all day while he was at school. she says that he has to go with me, b/c she has things todo, she was suppossed to have a meeting set up with one of the teachers in a few minutes.
anyway, he refuses to come with me at that point, and calls his dad on her cell to tell him that he isn't coming over, b/c he misses his mommy. she then takes the phone from him, and tells him that she just can't talk him into going with me. so, my stepbaby hugged me goodbye, and i told him it was ok, please don't cry, and they walked into the school together. i just wanted to lie down in the road and die.
i can't believe that she is going to mess with his emotions like that. i made it to my car before i lost my composure, and just sat there and cried. it was like i was in shock or something.
this situation is so completely out of control. to make it worse, my husband calls, and he was irritable w/ me about it, and really dissappointed. i couldn't talk to him right then because i was so upset. i told him that i would see him when he got home. i told him everything later, and he said he was really sorry that i had driven out there for nothing. he was almost ugly to his ex about it on the phone later, but they ended up arguing, and my stepson didn't get to come over at all this past week.
i have always been cordial with her, but she makes it so hard for me. i dont know what to do. she even makes it look on the surface like shes not doing anything wrong, by being polite to me, telling her son she loves him, parent/teacher conference, asking about the extended family, checking with other parent before agreeing to let the poor child come home with her, arguing with him and telling him to go with me, etc.... i mean she is probably doing irreparable damage to my ss psyche, much less his relationship w/his dad. this whole entire episode feels like a personal attack on me, and my ss is a victim too
i am so hurt right now. and this is what i am getting now that she doesnt mind me being around so much anymore, and is faking polite. i want to be involved so bad i cant stand it. i dont want to let her pull my strings and manipulate me, but other people are getting hurt too. i don't know what to do, but, if you made it to the end, thanks for listening.