Everywhere my stepchild goes, there is drama. In our home when he is not around, things are peaceful. I have kids and they don't bring this kind of drama. They have had their challenges but they know I expect them to be rational.

You can try to convey information to him and it becomes something else by the time he tells his mother about it. My husband only communicates with his child in writing anymore. He's PASed out and we have to protect ourselves because his kid lies and manipulates, stirs up trouble.

No one else in the world that we communicate with (not our families, not our friends, not our coworkers) ever has a hard time understanding us like SS and BM do. None of them leap to insane conclusions. To BM and SS, everything is an opportunity for drama.

SS passport expired. DH arranged to get him a new one, paid for it and took it to the passport office. Passport office needed something else, sent an email requesting it. Four times he has said something along the lines of "my mom and I will do it this weekend" or "my mom has been busy we will get to it this week". DH hasn't hounded him but once every 3-4 weeks, just a reminder and a nudge. It has a 90-day deadline, coming up in 2 weeks, which is also a Holiday week.

Last night it all blew up with supposedly BM not knowing any of this was going on. SS upset thinking there's going to be drama, we want him to have a passport so we can kidnap him or take him with us somewhere he doesn't want to go. That's insane.

I won't say this to him (SS) directly, but after the bull and the drama he has pulled over the years, I don't want him anywhere near me. Having him go on a vacation with us abroad would be my idea of putting myself into hell, with an 8-10 hour flight involved. Yeah, no.

DH feels like he gets lied on about everything. SS has been telling BM that he never hears from DH. DH offers to come down and see him (2 hour drive) on a regular basis, SS claims always not feeling well or can't, I'm busy (unless it's near birthday or Christmas of course).

So DH provided text messages to her and told her that SS isn't telling the truth to her or to him. To us he is saying that his mom is not getting to the passport issue because she is busy. To her he is making it seem that DH doesn't care about him, lying about contacts and attempts at visits. Drama and chaos always.

There is this weird enmeshment between him and BM where one makes the other get more anxious about something (kidnapping or other such horrible thing), drama happens and then it cycles into two crazy people making the other more crazy. It's not normal living at all.

I don't have enough free time in the world to create all that mess in my head or my heart. SS has become his mother's mini-me and that is bad news for him. Her life has been a train wreck and his is not going to be any better.

DH just told them he doesn't care if SS gets his passport or not, but we are not paying for another application fee. If he doesn't want one, that is fine. This child has been pushing my husband away since before I ever met them. When we first started dating I thought it was strange how rarely now-DH was with his SS. Now I understand. He's been "too busy" and rejecting a relationship with my DH since he was about 8. And BM has fed that with her attempts at PAS. Now she claims the breakdown of their relationship is DH's fault, which is simply not true. She claims to have SS in counseling and it costs a ton of money, but DH provides insurance and no claims have come through it. So she's either choosing to pay out of pocket (stupid) or she's lying about counseling.

This child and this BM are more hassle than either of my kids have ever been and they've had their issues too. My kids are not precious snowflakes, they have at times been very difficult to raise. But never would they suggest that anyone wants to kidnap them because they want to renew their damn passport.

If only SS knew how absolutely unlikely that was... I would never say it because it would scar him in other ways, but perhaps he needs a reality check. He seems to be inventing a power struggle over him that isn't there.

DH just wanted him to have a passport. SS talks about how much he misses travel. That was it.