Young adults are less mature. My DD is 20, and goes to college, but wanted to pend the summer in an apartment, instead of her room in my home, and tried to get me to pay for it. They want all of the rights but none if the responsibilities.  By the time she is 22 or 23, she needs to support herself, unless she is a full-time student with academic progress. Even as a student, she needs to work part-time, and all support ends at 25.

Yes I think it is a priority. It all depends really on how much income you have but parents have to think about the future. Like qtpie said, these kids don't want to grow up and take responsibility for themselves, especially financially so they are not likely to be there in your retirement when you need care etc.

Dave Ramsey would agree....retirement takes precident over funding the failure to launch.

But society seems to expect parents to support their kids to age 26 now.  My DH has a pension plan that will subsidize adult kids' health insurance to age 26 but not their spouse's.  How F'd up is that???  

Is there any difference in steplife vs nuclear families?  Should there be?

While the goals should stay the same after a divorce, we all know that circumstances, financial and otherwise, change when the nuclear family breaks up.

In your case, notsofast, your SS's college is paid for and he can get a job for any spending money he wants or needs, and BM can kiss dirt. Especially with the alienation going on, it just amazes me that these kids think that they can treat their parent like that and get something for it.

Yes, it is much harder for today's young adults than it was 25-30 years ago. College costs are 100 percent more expensive. Housing is on the verge of another bubble (will we ever learn?!). Medical costs are insane. And wages haven't increased for squat. 

So while it is much harder to be self sufficient at ages 18-25 these days, it still doesn't excuse someone who can't hold down a job. That doesn't mean parents should enable an entitled, lazy adult. But if the kid was hard working and doing everything they could to make it in the jacked up society our elders gave them? I see no issue with helping them and it certainly drives the trend of young folks needing more help from parents.

And yeah, retirement is important. But just remember that anyone younger than 40 will get screwed on social security as nothing is being done to ensure WE can retire. It seems cold to tell entire generations they are SOL once they turn 18. The societal supports and safety nets aren't there for young adults and won't be when they're old, either. 

As long as my bio is working her ass off, I will contribute financially if she is in a bind. She had some entitlement years and that financial support stopped. She learned about food pantries and asshole boyfriends. Hard lessons, but lifelong. SHe finally finished college while working two jobs. She's now working full time at a job that does not pay her a living wage while she looks for something else. Her dad and I do help her out occasionally. I don't mind that.

Same for SS. He is three years clean from a drug addiction. DH kept throwing money at the problem, meaning SS stayed high. Miraculously, when DH stopped funding him, he found his way into recovery. He had to hit bottom. Now he's working and taking care of himself, but DH occasionally sends him money if he's in a bind.

Why should anyone place less priority over their retirement than paying for adult children, who can obtain a college loan, get a job, join the service, etc.? If you take a look at any retirement calculator it shows the high cost of living into the retirement years. Gone are the days when you could just live off of social security. God forbid if the couple retiring has medical bills and lives in a state where taxes and living expenses are sky high.

There are scholarships, college loan programs, tuition reimbursement at workplaces, college paid for by the service, sports scholarships, and paying for college with hard-earned money taking courses when you can. Unless a couple is quite well off and they adult children are going to do something with their education instead of wasting it, adult children should be able to find a way to help pay for their education. Not every needs or can get into an Ivy League school.

I paid for my college education, although my parents could afford to. I was an adult and wanted to be responsible. My DH paid for 2 of the adult skids college education. One dropped out and the other obtained a job in a field so far remote of what his degree was in. While in college, all they did was party. My DH regrets paying for this and does wish he had that money to help with his retirement.

As far as paying for living expenses for adult children. Why? If they are old enough to work and can work. They should be working, supporting themselves and stop leaching off their parent(s). I've seen so many people, whose adult children live with them, trashing their house, lounging around, mooching off the parent's, running up the expenses, not helping out around the house or yard. Simply just taking advantage. It is wrong.

Retirement should be the priority over college and subsidizing adult children.  Kids can borrow for school, but you can't borrow for retirement.  Ideally parents start saving for college when kids are young, but if they haven't, they need to give the kid a budget of what they can contribute, and the child may have to attend community college and/or commute to a local state school while working, borrow the max in federal loans, or maybe stretch college out so they can pay as they go. It's hard with college being as pricy as it is, but where there's a will there's a way - it just involves compromises and a lot of hard work.  I do think parents should provide a free room in their home for college students who are respectful, comply with house rules and are putting forth the effort to get through school.  

I also think that a parent who has the excess funds should help with college, but not at the expense of retirement and other needs. 

Full disclosure : I am an adult child who gets help from my parents (intact family). I work but don't make a lot, and SO makes a decent living.  We can cover our needs.  But my father makes more in a week than SO and I do in a year.  He can easily afford to help us with some wants, and he enjoys doing so. We're very appreciative.  If I had a SM instead of a BM, I don't know if the situation would be different.

You hit That retirement time.  You only have the money you have.  That has to last for ???? Years.  If you want to continue to live close to the same life style and travel. You have to figure out how much money you need total, and how much you are going to used each month.  And how much you have to save each month to this.  This in no joke, if you don’t want yo eat dog food, and not afford meds, ect.  You better fund your retirement.  The older you get the more money it will take.