SS5 got here the day before yesterday and it was okay. He loves DD and keeps saying how cute she is and I don't notice any of those attention seeking signs SS10 shows if I give DD a bit of attention. But of course he is a firecracker. Very very energetic, jumps all over the place, runs doesn't walk, etc.

Typical 5 year old. So SO gets in Wednesday morning and I told him he didn't have food in the house for the boys and needs to go grocery shopping. He asks me to get ready so he can pick me up and we would all go. We went and came back, by this time it's like 11am. I make breakfast for SS15, SS5, and SO and of course SS5 doesn't want it. He only wants junk all day. Fine by me. But then SO says he has to take a nap. I try not to feel any kind of way because he did have to sleep in the airport because his flight was delayed and he has to be at work at 4pm.

I let him sleep. At about 1230, SS15 calls saying trains are delayed and he needs a ride to school to take his regents. Instead of SO leaving at 230pm for work like he normally does, he left at 1pm. And no he never made babysitter arrangements so he just left SS5 with me. I turned on the tv for him and he watched cartoons. He was actually ok and not so active. Then I cleaned the entire house.

I had to be consistent and not allow SS5 in the room because he would touch everything in DD's crib which is only like 3 stuffed animals. But he has a whole room of stuff to play with in his room plus stuff he brought from home. I wasn't mean about it and he was okay.

I go to work yesterday and when I got back home, the house was a mess. One of DDs stuffed animals was on the floor of the boys room which showed me that SS5 got into my room. SO was sleeping before his overnight (remember he has a split shift and works overnight Thursday n Friday) and SS15 immediately told me "You were right. It's really hard babysitting. Daddy forced me to take them to the park." Kid was hanging out in front of the building because he couldn't take being home, which a lot of us on here do except he's a teen.

When SO woke up we began talking and he told me that on Saturday morning instead of coming immediately home he had a job to do after work and SS15 would go help him.

I just looked at him and told him he needs to get a sitter for SS5. He spent a total of 6 hours with SS5 on Wednesday then left him with me from 1pm then he leaves SS15 to babysit without asking him and now he's again making plans with my time. I don't care if it's only 3 extra hours, it's not my responsibility! He wanted to see his son and he is the parent so he should make arrangements for him. Or am I wrong here?

This is what started the second argument we've had since SS5 has been here. He doesn't get it. I tried telling him the other day...your free time is yours to do what you wish. Mine should be too. I help enough with the first 2. I told him that because I love him I'll try to help him here and there with SS5 but not at the cost of my happiness. I told him if he really loved me he would consider that and not put his responsibilities on me.