I need to pick your brains....

SO and I are not married, I have a few more weeks on leave and I want to get all my ducks in a row before leaving. Doesn't seem to be much left to fight for with him. I don't know where to start. We have two little ones. I don't want to stop him from seeing them, and his schedule really only allows that he have them on weekends. My biggest fear? He slimes right back into BM's bed. It's what he's done every other time he's single, until he can find a new sucker...I mean girlfriend.

Yes, I'm devistated.

ETA - he's not going to be rational, he will be vindictive and try to get a lot even if he can't handle it - just to hurt me. Make no mistake, it's not because he cares about me and I'm breaking his heart. It's a power play.

MissElphaba's blog
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I'm on maternity leave with a

I'm on maternity leave with a four week old... I've been trying to not stress myself with a move until I'm cleared by my dr.

I agree - I'm just concerned

I agree - I'm just concerned that if I do this before I have a plan that he will use his "already done this" knowledge and somehow take them from me.

Check your state laws. You

Check your state laws. You aren't married. A lot of states default custody to the mom if the parents aren't married. You may be in a situation where he has to fight for any custody he wants and you don't have to do anything at all. I'd go ahead an consult with an attorney just to make sure, but I think you have the upper hand here.

I left my SO this weekend.

I left my SO this weekend. We weren't married. We have a 9 month old baby. I got your back. You and I are in the exact same boat. We may have to lean on each other. It's going to be a long bumpy ride. Hugs. I'm on this site right now since I'm trying to refocus my attention and not give him space in my brain. I think in my state since we aren't married he would have to go to court to get rights and he's not going to spend any money.

Thanks for replying - right

Thanks for replying - right back at ya. It's nice to not feel alone.

All you need is a place to

All you need is a place to GO. Can you get a deposit and first month's rent for an apartment? Do you and SO own your current home together? Are you currently on a lease together? It's going to suck no matter when you do this, but at least you will be able to breathe sooner. I, too, am struggling with the same crap, debating whether to stick it out or jump ship. You have two little ones. You need to be strong and do what's right for them ASAP. If leaving is inevitable, then just do it. You already know that SO will most likely crawl back to BM. You can't change him. None of us can change these men in our lives, so we have to change ourselves.

Trust me, I know it's easier said than done. Praying for you to be strong through this, for the little ones.

~ Moon