It's my personal opinion that it's a mistake to move in until you are ready for marriage. It's never a good idea to move someone (with kids!) into a home that belonged to one of you. They are intruding on your territory, which just makes everything compounded. When you get a place together, it's...different.

That said, you were barely out of the honeymoon phase and already living together. Granted, you still think he's great, but it did not leave much time for you to consider what it would be like having the kids there. You were still starry eyed and let it slide. "It will be fine," you thought. "Our love will overcome it," you told yourself. But the day to day truth of it is still in your face, and it is harder than you could have imagined.

You have choices. 1.Break up. 2.Stay together and he moves out...date him. Or 3.have a life outside of him and your home that keeps you busy and distracts you from them. Art class, dance class, reading group, church, gym class, girls night out, tennis team, etc. As long as the only thing you have going on is work life and home life, you likely need to choose choices 1 or 2. But if you have something else to focus on, you have a much better chance of surviving what you are living now.

Can you tell him it's just not working like you thought it would and he should go back to having his own place? I know that sometimes that can be detrimental to a relationship but some have found that it works.

I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about but knowing that he had 50/50, I'm just wondering what you expected?

I've had similar feelings as you have expressed. My skids are with us the majority 10/14 days, their mom only gets them every other weekend.
1) First I will say you need to definitely make a decision whether you're in or out at this point. It's not an easy road, but you have to make the decision if it's worth it or not for you.
2) The first few months of living with my DH and skids was the worst, just trying to figure it all out was a bit difficult so keep that in mind, in my case it got better. 3) Definitely definitely find some things that you can do outside of the house to get away/distract yourself. I make a dinner date with one of my friends near the end of my skids stay to help tide me over until the break.
4) A new house with a fresh start for everyone might be helpful, as another poster commented, it may be adding to the issue with you feeling like they've invaded your space.
5) I don't know how involved with the kids you are but try stepping back a little bit. I know when I first moved in I felt like I had to be Suzie Homemaker, cook dinner, help the kids with homework, make sure they showered and got ready for bed, etc. It started stressing me out like crazy! I realized me trying to do so much was making it a bad situation so I stepped back, I no longer involve myself in their homework unless I'm in the mood and they request help. Some nights I just don't want to deal with it so I just close myself in my bedroom and watch Netflix or take a nice long bath.

I really feel for you. I am kind of in the same situ. I let my partner move in with me and we have the skids every weekend.

I feel frustrated and emotionally drained with them. However I put it down to them being kids. It is hard, it is not easy falling in love with a man who has kids and ex's.
I am getting married in June and have had a long hard talk to myself about whether I can deal with the skids. And I decided if I want to be with my partner and I love him as much as I think I do. I will take his kids on and all the cr*p that comes with them. And use it as a learning curve for when I decide to have children.

Please, please, please listen to me . . while the lot of you are in YOUR house, YOU have the authority. If at any time you sell your house and move in on "even" terms with DH, things can change for you like they changed for me. If you do get a home with him, DO NOT SELL YOUR HOUSE.

I met DH, thought he was amazing. He sold his house, moved in with me. Have SD10 and SS7 every weekend. My house was too small. DH and I bought a house together. Then I sold my house. THAT is when he changed.

I would give anything to have my own house back. ANYTHING.

I feel physically heavy every Thursday night before the skids arrive. I'm elated Sundays when they go home. He is a Disney Dad - there is no consequences, no rules, no boundaries. The SS has MAJOR behavioral issues that DH will not address. DH is emotionally, verbally and mentally abusive to me. I don't know how your DH is but . . this isn't what I signed up for. I saw NONE of this until I sold my house and was trapped. He and his children do whatever they want. I have no say so in anything, and I'm stuck there because I put everything I had into this current house.

I dream of having a house where I am not invaded, where I have my privacy and I don't have to worry about my pets, my things . . I am NOT happy right now.

I am currently working with a credit counselor to try and fix my credit, and who knows, maybe in a year I can get a home of my own again.

But if you have that house . . you keep it. If you get a house with DH, then rent the house you currently own. If things fall apart with DH, you can move back in at the end of your occupant's current lease.

DO
NOT
SELL
YOUR
HOUSE

They are not taking YOUR day, BM is. The answer must be NO. Each and every time she requests a deviation. SO needs to understand that this is your life too and it is YOUR home and that his past only gets what the COd visitation says his past gets and that is EOW. No matter what, no deviation, that is all his past gets of him and your life in your home with your SO.

Stick to your guns and don't feel guilty about a thing.

In our case my DW was the CP. We had the Skid 24/7 except for 7wks per year (5wks summer, 1wk winter, 1wk spring)from shortly after his 2nd birthday until he turned 18. His mom and I actually had anxiety when we had to put the Skid on a plane to Sperm Land for visitation. The shallow and polluted end of his gene pool was so toxic that their poisonous influence would begin a week or so before he left for Sperm Land and it would take weeks to detox him from Sperm Clan exposure when he came home from visitation.

Take care of yourself.