I HATE MY STEP CHILDREN!!!!!
If I don't vent to someone who understands I will explode!!! My husband has 4 children from a previous marriage. SS15, SD14, SD12 and SD10. His ex wife decided to basically take the two good kids and leave us with the demon child. }:) They are the 15 and 14 year old. I never met kids like this. His daughter bit my nephew so hard it left a mark for weeks. she also punches walls tries to choke her older brother, screams like crazy, refuses to go to school and she is the queen of dirty looks. I tried really hard to get close to her by taking her shopping and getting nails done. I tried to understand her and joke with her and finally tough love. She tried to hurt her brother and my nephew again and I went to hold her back. My hand got caught in her hair so now she tell everyone I pulled her hair. I even APOLIGIZED and she said "I don't care". She finally decided to move out and it was peaceful.
We still had his son who is also a demon. My friend died and gave me custody of her son. So I thought it would be great he has his son and in a way I have mine (I cannot have kids myself). The custody of this child was on a trial bases. Three months into my kid living with us and I found out my husbands demon son molested my kid. Now he is locked up and my kid was taking away from me by his moms family. They didn't even want him. My husband now has to pay the state child support until he finishes his sentence and my husband wants him to live with us. All I said was hell no and over my dead body. The probation office keeps pressuring us to take him. I really don't want to live with any of his monsters. It is bad enough I have to attend family therapy meeting and see him every other week for visitations. Every time I see him I was to smack him but don't. His daughter keeps saying she blames me for what happened and her brother being locked up.
His kids have me going crazy, sick in my belly and on multiple medications. I have turned very mean and distant to everyone. How do I get back to myself and liking kids in general.
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Financially divorce will not
Financially divorce will not be a possibility plus I do love my husband. He can't control them either. They listen or are afraid of me more then him. He son has pushed scratched and mentally abused him several times. Another reason why I do not want him to move back in. The SS has tried to blame me for him being locked up but I remind him quickly no one made him be a child molester and he shuts up quickly.
Listen I feel no one knows
Listen I feel no one knows the loss and disappointment I feel in what happened. Even though I did the right thing I miss my kid and blame myself a lot. I told my husband I could never live with the SS because I do not want to feel that self blame more then I already do. Soo to answer your question no I would not want to feel responsible for another incident. Thank you for reminding me no my kids not my problem. Everyone looks at me as if I am the meanest person when I say that. It makes me feel like crap.
Tommar, they will not fine
Tommar, they will not fine him they will put him in a home. DH already had to pay child support to the state for him being locked up. CS will just continue.
When an adolescent molests a
When an adolescent molests a child 4 yrs or more younger then him (which is true in this case). they get locked up in a program to rehabilitate them. SS is basically getting help but unless he has a lobotomy and gets castrated he is not moving back in. Before he was sentenced he was with us on an ankle bracelet until the court date and he took it off. So the held him until court. Oh and trust me I thought about beating him every day he was in the house with me on the ankle bracelet. Thank god for happy pills
Innocent until proven guilty
Innocent until proven guilty so I had no choice but during that time SS confessed to me, DH and his lawyer. He pled guilty and his sentence was reduced. Where he is at they give SS lie detector tests so that he can't lie to them without getting caught.
Thank you I spent many
Thank you I spent many sleepless hours crying and feeling like shit. I wish I could talk to my kid but the family made it clear no contact.
Tog, I have been telling the
Tog, I have been telling the PO that since I am considered by the court one of the SS victims and I was a witness against him that it is not safe or healthy for him to live in the same house as me. Honestly I have been in therapy since and I can have the documentation to prove it but the PO thinks family therapy can fix everything. Really every time I sit across from him I feel sick.
Outlaw, It does not work that
Outlaw, It does not work that way in the states. SS is locked up for 18 months to 3 yrs. However the court controls where he goes after that until he is 21. He is not allowed to live with anyone under the age of 18 which is why DH wants him to live with us. BM has the two youngest SD's and the oldest SD moved in with her half sister on which is BM daughter from another marriage. DH says he has no where else to go and I said that's his fault. The court will place him in a facility until he is 18 but DH and BM will pay child support to the state until he is 18.
Sally you are great you make
Sally you are great you make me smile which has been rare lately. DH just doesn't want to pay the state child support I think. I think he has really seen the light about SS moving back in with us.
Outlaw, No I will never get
Outlaw, No I will never get my kid back. I cannot even see him. As I stated before the adoption was not legal yet and therefore he really was not mine but in my opinion he was.
This kid is 15 molested
This kid is 15 molested another child, you are talking about him getting out of jail to come home. So you are saying that this child is getting less than 3 years for molesting another child.
That is horrible. This kid does need help. I dont believe the authorities can make you take this kid back, even if he is under 18. He needs to be evaluated and put somewhere to receive treatment.
I hate to say this but it's been proven time and time again, that molestors dont stop. So this may only be the first of many incidents.
I am so sorry for your son. I'm sorry but if this was me, I would leave that's just a horrible way to live.
I am well aware of what the
I am well aware of what the other child feels. I was molested as a child. So if the child gets theraphy it will help him to understand it wasn't his fault and the other party is a sick individual.
I hate that statistic being
I hate that statistic being that I was abused. So I guess I took it kind of personal. I think if the child gets help understanding it wasn't his fault, what actually happened and the person who did it was wrong and sick, it can prevent him from repeating a pattern that he essentially doesn't understand.
Alot of molestors use this "it happened to me as a kid excuse", some did but some didn't. No one helped them if it did, so they got a warped since of reality and couldn't heal properly.
It will be a part of that boy's life forever, but while he's young he needs to get help so that he can try to have a normal life with whomever he decides he wants to be with when he's an adult.
It's sad and a long road.
I never saw anything THANK
I never saw anything THANK GOD!! and with SS admitting to doing it there is no over reacting unfortunately there are people under 18 that are just as sick as adult molesters. I was a witness because I was the one told by my kid.
The place he is in say it is
The place he is in say it is not necessarily a sexual thing. It could be impulse control problem or personality disorder such as ODD. Basically it is like being a sociopath but they don't label that until they are adults. Which I think is BS
Is military school an option?
Is military school an option?
I agree that you might want
I agree that you might want to look into getting this kid into a group home. You can't leave him for the state to deal with. But there are plenty of options for kids who have problems. Group home or psych hospital. You can put him in the group home for delinquent rehabilitation or you can look into getting him into a hospital. The kid has some major problems. They need to be fixed before he gets worse.
Honestly, I don't know what to say. I'd leave my husband before I'd ever let my kids get taken away. Of course, my DH would take whatever action necessary to avoid that happening.