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To no one's surprise, all problems begin (and end) with the BM/BD

worst_stepmom_ever's picture

Well SD is back at our house. This time DH didn't give BM a lot of advance notice that he would be exercising the visitation, so there wasn't time to build up the visit as this awful thing. Also, we have not had SD contact BM at all during the visit.

Unsurprisingly, this has had an amazing effect on SD, and although she is still a brat (she literally threw the gifts that were given to her by MIL saying "I DON'T LIKE THAT") things are at least... tolerable.

I have been trying to take the high road with MIL and just kill her with kindness. It seems to be working somewhat although I don't trust her after what happened the other day.

DH of course has been fawning attention on SD, work, and MIL and so I've felt a little ignored. It's my birthday weekend and I asked DH in the morning if he had anything he was wanting to do this weekend (not mentioning the birthday, although he knew it was this weekend since my mom sent me a gift) and he was like "no, just work stuff and the kids."

Understandably, I felt a bit miffed and went off to pout for a while, but I decided instead of "testing" DH to see if he was going to either surprise me or just forget/ignore me, I'd just ASK if he was planning something so I wouldn't have unmet expectations. He said that he was already planning to surprise me with dinner, which made me happy. Although just as I was beginning to write this I overheard him having a hushed conversation with MIL that sounded an awful lot like him saying he had to come up with something etc etc. With him leaving soon, I guess it's best not to be hypersensitive and just be happy that I will (hopefully) not be forgotten tomorrow and hope that DH has something wonderful planned.

I did sit out with him in the garage while he worked, saying "well I guess if you don't have time to spend with me I might as well try to spend time with you" and he seemed to appreciate my understanding of the situation. When SD tried to follow me out to the garage DH was super considerate and told her to head back inside to play with DD and MIL since he was spending time with me.

My DD's BD is being an ass, but that's nothing new. Just the usual attitude like he does SOOOOO much to help when he contributes nothing to DD's tuition, uniforms, school supplies, etc. (CS has not been adjusted since we were divorced six years ago, at the time there were zero childcare costs, and he makes more money now) then trying to make demands and act like he's father of the year. BM is trying to be as obnoxious as possible before DH leaves, but that is also nothing new. Thankfully my family is supportive and my dad, a lawyer, has stepped in to give DH legal advice and help keep the chaos to a dull roar. Soon it will be just me and DD for a while, so I tell myself that whatever is going on now is only temporary.