Not Sure Where SD Should Sleep Any More
Hi all,
I live with my husband, my two bio kids, and my mother in law. My youngest StepDaughter (13 y/o) visits regularly. Originally, SD was sleeping in the same room as Mother In Law. It's a very large room, about the size of a two-car garage, and their beds are on opposite sides of the room.
SD started complaining that she can't sleep because MIL is up all night on the phone or watching TV, until 4 am or so. MIL started complaining that SD snores so loud, she can't sleep or watch TV and that the snoring sometimes wakes her up with a fright. They're both telling the truth- I can hear SD's snores from my Master Bedroom, and on the nights that SD is ready to go to sleep, MIL stays up super late.
My daughter (also 13) and my step daughter are besties so SD started sleeping in my daughter's room.
But...we live in an area where it thunder storms a lot and SD is scared of thunderstorms. DD's bed is right by the window so any time there was a thunder storm, it would wake up SD who would then come to our room and wake US up. She's an extreme scared cat, btw.
And now my daughter is complaining about the same thing- SD snores extremely loud, takes up most of the bed {she's obese}, and steals all the covers. DD doesn't want to offend SD so she wants us to be the one to stop "allowing" the girls to sleep in the same room. And I have no problem being the one to tell the girls to go to separate rooms for bed time.
But the problem is that there's no other room for her to sleep in, unless we put her downstairs in the living room, or upstairs in the gameroom, where she is certain to be woken up by thunderstorms, and then wake us up which pisses me off.
Also, I want her to feel like she has a space of her own, not just the game room. When Mother In law moves out, SD will take that room back but that isn't happening any time soon, not for a year or two.
IDK what to do???
I don't know of any house
I don't know of any house that you can't hear the Tstorm activity in any room.. so that is unlikely to change.
I also don't think the girls should need to SHARE a bed... if SD remains in that room.. her bed comes with her. If the room isn't big enough.. maybe MIL and DD need to switch so that the two girls share a larger room.
If the snoring is really bad, she may need a Cpap or some other device
I guess in the scenario you mentioned.. the two options would be for the girls to share a room.... but maybe a white noise machine to soften the snoring.. and definitely individual beds.
OR>.. let the game room be her room for the duration of her stay.
Exactly
Your SD would be able to hear the thunderstorm all over the house. Maybe she should try to face her fears honesltly. She is 13 years old and is scared of rain? The only way she will get over that is if she overcomes her fear of thunderstorms or whatever is happening. I say you make her sleep in your daughters room. If she doesn't like it she can make a pallet on the floor in the livingroom. Problem solved.
I would convert the game room
I would convert the game room into a bedroom for the next couple of years until mil moves out and have one of your bio kids or mil sleep in there and your sd in that person's current bedroom or try having your sd in the game room but give her something with some background noise that might help disguise the thunder and help her sleep through it.
Game rooms are nice to have but not essential. Sounds like sd needs her own room for everyone's sanity.
Yeah, I don't care about
Yeah, I don't care about having a game room, there's no just no way to make it private for her. If we build a wall, it would cut off the door to my son's room as well as the bathroom.
I will bring up the idea of switching MIL's room with DD's room. I know my DD would be good with that.
Unfortunately, nothing I can do about her weight or health. Mom freaks out if we mention she needs to brush her hair and is in total denial, despite what the doctor says.
The bigger room.. with her
The bigger room.. with her own bed on the other side of a divider perhaps.. white noise at night.. will muffle thunder and snores.. which won't be as bad if the girls are in diff beds anyway.
If you switch to the game
If you switch to the game room could you do something like barn doors or pocket doors for it to make it private?
I think switching the girls room with MIL is ideal, also bunk beds if you can't give her privacy in the game room.
As for the snoring- Who give a crap what BM says? Make an appointment for the child. Ask for an at home sleep study and do it. If she has apnea get her the cpap. If BM wants her obese kid to stop breathing and possibly die- she can do that at her house.
Yes, I agree with switching
Yes, I agree with switching rooms with MIL and the girls go in there, with SD having her own bed.
If MIL is up until 4 am, why can't SD go in there if it thunders? Put an air mattress down in there that she can use on stormy nights.
Having read your other post,
Having read your other post, I'd say that it's time for MIL to get her own place and that way both girls get their own room.
I call BS on the thunderstorm
I call BS on the thunderstorm fright. She is old enough to suck it up and not disturb others.
The rest of it... is tough to navigate IMHO. I would look at a portable room divider/screen for the game room. That gives her and everyone else some privacy and separation. while reducing the size of the gameroom space which may calm her a bit.