My DH and I have been the primary caretakers of SS14 since he was 5. My DH was the primary caretaker prior to that. I have been more of a mom to him than egg-donor ever has been. He's recently began to get the typical teenager attitude to a small extent. He gave me a lot of trouble this morning on the way to summer school (he failed due to laziness and now has summer school). It was raining so instead of riding the bus, I took him. Without going into details, it was a very unpleasant ride there. He seems to believe that if he states 'didn't remember' it excuses all behavior without claiming that something didn't occur.

Ex. Me: "We taught you to behave this way."
SS14: "I don't remember that."
Me: "We've taught you many times. I remember specific instances. You're saying you were never taught
when you know you were."
SS14: "You're making me sound bad! I didn't say that! I'm saying I don't remember being taught that."
Me: "That's exactly what I just said. You said you weren't taught."
SS14: "No, you're saying I was taught. I'm saying I don't remember being taught."
Me: "You're just repeating what I said. Why are you arguing about this?"
SS14: "You're making me sound bad! You said that I said that I wasn't taught. I said that I don't
remember being taught."
Me: "So the only difference in what I'm saying and what you're saying are the words 'don't remember'?
You think stating that you don't recall something occurring that you know occurred makes you sound
better than if you just lied and said you were not taught?"

This is a VERY shortened version of what happened without the specific details included. I was fuming mad by the time we got to school. A little rain never hurt anyone. He can ride the bus next time.

I got home and I read a journal that he's been keeping. I know I shouldn't have. I know it's an invasion of privacy. I have never read it before, but I did read it today after all the crap he's been giving his Dad and I lately. The journal is pretty short right now. It does state a few different times that he hates me. He apparently hates me because I'm strict. He did state that I'm 'cool' sometimes. He stated that it's creepy that I told him to stop playing in the bathroom. He stays in the bathroom for over an hour every day to avoid doing homework. He also seems to have to go to the bathroom for over an hour every time he's asked to do a chore, so yes, I've told him to stop playing in the bathroom. He also complained about egg-donors house. He complained about my cooking, yet I don't have to cook for him at all. Maybe his Dad should be the cook for awhile and his Dad can purposely cook dishes he'll hate. He can learn to miss my cooking. His last entry says that revenge is coming for me. He's too stupid to get away with anything. For example, we'll hear him up late at night playing on his phone. DH will yell "Are you asleep?" SK14 is dumb enough to yell back "yes". I am strict. I am a parent. His dad and I are the only true parents he's ever known, yet I don't get the respect as a parent. He wants me to listen to all his rambling and hear about his day when he gets home, but doesn't want me to have rules.

I'm not going to let him know I read the journal. I don't want to disengage because I don't feel that's the best option for our household.

Should I:
A) Disengage only temporarily (a week or so), let him see how important I really am to his life
Leave a fake diary of my own out hoping that he'll read it with entries of how my kid is creeping me out by spending all day in the bathroom, how I hate having to be so strict because no one has ever taught the kid proper manners, etc.
C) Play disneyland mom for awhile along with my normal parenting
D) Another better idea that you suggest