BM always finds a reason to call my DH
BM will find an excuse everyday to call and talk to DH. Last night was she had to call and tell him what time SS's practice was...jackass, its been the same time all season!! And than she will go off on other things. DH is super short and snippy with her and in EVERY convo, she will be like "why do you have an attitude with me?" and he will tell her b/c you are telling me things I already know and I dont need daily reminders of the same crap! Than she turns the fight into he left her. It's seriously a broken record over and over and over and over again! PUT YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES ON AND DEAL WITH IT!!! They've been seperated for years now and he's remarried to me. Its not like this is new to her. Does anyone else have the pleasant honor of daily phone calls??
Oh and when they fight, BM will not let the SS's talk to DH b/c she is mad and bitter. How is that fair to your kids....grrrr!
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Just let the call go to
Just let the call go to Voicemail, if it's important she will leave a message. Or find ways of communicating without him actually speaking to her, for example, text messaging or email. Our BM text's BF regarding things that aren't too involved, for example letting him know what time something is. He doesn't have to even respond.
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“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”
Well, DH will call to talk
Well, DH will call to talk to SS and she wont anwser so he leaves the SAME msg everytime "have the boys call me thanks" and than they call back and she will either talk first or talk after they talk to DH. So he cant just hang up. Oh she emails him and txts him enough. And when its about the boys or a schedule change, I could careless if she calls, but when she calls EVERY wk to tell him practice starts at 6pm (like it does every day of every wk) and than wonders why DH has a tude and basically picks a fight, its a tad annoying! If she txts or emails him and he doesnt respond right away, she will call him until he anwsers. He has a pretty busy job and his job isnt to be at her beck and call.
So is the only issue you
So is the only issue you really have is that BM calls Every week to tell DH what time practice starts? Has DH told BM that he realizes what time practices start and that he doesn't need to be reminded? What is the practice for?
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“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”
He needs to disconnect the
He needs to disconnect the moment she starts fighting or bringing up "you left me" crap. Our BM tried to rehash the divorce and DH told her he wasn't going to go there. So she stopped.
I bet she started this after you got married, right?
Oh he has and does. He will
Oh he has and does. He will hang up on her once she goes down that road. She was REALLY bad when we first started dating. She would call and txt so much, he'd turn his phone off than she started drive by of my house. Than I moved and she didnt know where we lived for over a yr. She would go a few wks and not say anything and he'd be like she's finally being an adult about things. Than we got engaged and it started again. Than it died down some and was only here and there. Than we got married and it started again! She has a man, that she's been dating on and off for a yr and recently they moved in together. So she should be "so happy" that DH left her stupid ass so she can be with her felon of a b/f!! Thats what I dont get, she has a man who STALKS our house with her!! If DH wanted to drive by her apt on a weekly basis, I'd have an issue and say maybe you arent over your ex!! Thats just SUPER weird to me!
BM used to do that before
BM used to do that before but now she just seems bitter and has given up and doesn't call at all even if she should.
whenever they get into a big argument she will bring up that he hurt her and blah blah blah same o crap. she's very dramatic and exaggerates. it's been 11 yrs. lady get over it! seriously!
I feel like its NEVER going
I feel like its NEVER going to stop. For the most part, I can blow it off. But I wondering others experience with this. Like yeah they hurt BM or whatever, but what were they suppose to do, stay and be miserable??? I'd rather somoene leave me than just co-exist with them!!!
I remember those days... it
I remember those days... it took about 4 years for it to stop. She actually went through phases. We wouldn't hear from her for a few weeks, then BAM, 5 calls a day about stupid stuff... it hasn't been like that in a long time now though. We actually talked the other day, and she said that the minute she found out that we set a wedding date, something inside her changed. Like a light came on that it was REALLY over... it is obvious in the way she has been acting too. I think at first it made her mad, then sad... then reality set in and she got over it.
DISbelief~
~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ ; )
Thats what I was hoping for,
Thats what I was hoping for, like we got married now do you see he will never come back to you?! If goes in phases for us too. When she broke up with b/f, she was back to calling my DH all the time for dumb crap. And than they got back together and we didnt hear from her much. BM and I dont get along AT ALL. We dont speak a word to each other. The hate is mutual. I'm cordial when the boys are there but I cant stand being in her presence. She is a pitiful mother, which is where 90% of my issues with her lie. Sorry, but you dont have a FELON b/f live with you and your kids!!! He's a also a recovering drug addict. And we've heard from good sources, they are doing crack...ugh! I worry all the time with her driving with them high or the kids seeing or discovering something. SS4 already asked us why we dont smoke when Mommy and b/f do!
Wow... you could be telling
Wow... you could be telling MY story right there!! It is NOT ok to let your kid get in the car with your boyfriend when he is DRUNK, it is NOT ok to let him get in the car after you all have popped a bunch of xanex... it is NOT ok to let a convicted FELON live with you... and why is it that everyone you date IS a convicted felon?? Where do you hang out?? The prison?? I don't get it... I never will... but as long as she is not calling every 5 minutes, my life is much more peaceful. She does however, call ME every day. Whatever... it keeps the peace.
DISbelief~
~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ ; )
Yeah I dont get...its called
Yeah I dont get...its called raising your standards!!
I am totally there. Every
I am totally there. Every day BM calls the DH about something. If she isn't calling him, she's texting him or emailing him. She now wants him and her along with the kids to go to family counseling. DH said he would but only if the step parents could be involved too because they are a part of the kids life and she went crazy. She has major issues with me and is trying to what I believe get him back. She was fine with things before we got married but after we got married, she went crazy. She told him that I couldn't pick the kids up from school, which is 10 minutes from my work. She tells him I am not suppose to have any contact with the kids when they are at our house and when the kids are there and I'm not, she calls him or texts the kids on the cell phones she bought for them to find out where I am. She gets all nice to him when she wants something but when he tells her no, she throws a fit. I have to wonder if it's ever going to end. I have told the kids, I don't want to be their mom, I'm just their dad's wife and if I can help them I will but their mom makes it very difficult to do that.
She doesnt ask to do
She doesnt ask to do "family" outings. They have kept everything very seperate pretty early on. Although when they first split and DH was living between friends and families houses, she'd invite him over the spend time with the kids and she'd fix dinner and be the perfect housewife. He had to stop going over b/c he felt he was giving her the wrong idea. He just wanted to spend time with kids. I was out of work for a few months so I started to pick SS up and one day I signed SS4 out of daycare under the "parents" line and BM freaked out!! She called DH and was like"SM is not their mother and shouldnt be signing things for them." Seriously? Thats where you HAVE to sign when picking the child up from daycare. Next time, I'll contact daycare and ask for them to make a seperate form...wtf?! It's not like I signed some important document claiming to be THEIR mother! BM is SUPER nice when she wants something from DH. But the second DH needs something she throws her bitterness back at him and it turns into a fight that didnt need to take place!!
OMG my ss bm used to do
OMG my ss bm used to do that... not everyday, but alot. she would call being all fakey nice and then say something that she knew was going to irritate the fire out of dh, but she would say it as sweetly as she could and when he got upset she would pounce. it would be ring around the rosy about the same crap (what he did wrong when they were "dating", why they didnt work out, how mean he is) just on and on and on endless loud and nonsensical screaming about their relationship - which started when she got pregnant and ended four years ago as soon as the kid was born. i thought i was going to lose it for awhile. eventually she stopped doing that and moved on to calling and telling him all about how wonderful her new boyfriends are, what better fathers they would be (ss lives with us, full time, all the time and she doesnt have legal custody either, we just are required to notify her of emergencies - obviously because she is a wonderful mother and her boyfriends would be so much better fathers), how hard things are for her, insinuating that she could really use some money....
I really have to give her points for being more creative and not screaming quite so much.
you really really just have to keep your cool and not lose your sense of humor.
i set bm's ring tone to the theme song from that horror movie "Psycho".
One night when my ss was at a sleep over with his cousins, dh and i bought a big bottle of champagne, made a firepit in the back yard and made up songs about people we know who drive us nuts, including bm (which i got a huge kick out of and had quite a few choice lyrics for).
Good luck !!
LOL...DH had Tupac's "why
LOL...DH had Tupac's "why they call you a bitch" as her ringtone but had to change b/c of his kids. He also had a crazy picture when she called. We seriously laugh at her on a daily basis. She has told DH that he's so far up my ass and that I tell him what to say. I cant help but laugh. My DH is 31 yrs old and he is very strong willed and stubborn, she should know this. He isnt going to listen and repeat word for word what I say! What a jackass so anyway, in general convo, we will talk and I'll be like what do you think about that and he will say "you tell me since you control my thoughts." And its just all become a big joke. His hand cramped the other day so I told him it was b/c he was so far up my ass that he didnt have room for his fingers. So humor def gets you through and dealing with these crazy women!
I think that BM and I am one
I think that BM and I am one who doesn't talk to the ex except for every other week to figure out time to meet to do the drop.
I know that my husband recently basically told his ex to stop calling him he is done discussing there 24 and 18 year old kids. They do not live with either of us. He told her to cut the chord. I posted a blog..
As a BM I choose to parent my kids and don't feel I need to call him about petty things, I do let him know if they get hurt, and grades, but other then that he can live his life and I will live mine. I don't want to be a nucense in his new relationship either as I don't want him in my marriage.. I don't think it matters who wants the divore or who the reciever is I think both should move on and be adult enough to know when to lay off. My husbands ex is a nice person but I also think she is a little over bearing. You can't make two adult children do something they don't want too. They sometimes have to learn the hard way. watching it is painful but as adults and parents now do you want your parents telling you what to do.
This woman in your situation isn't over your husband or the fact that it didn't work. She probably can't grasp how he can be with you and things be great and with her it wasn't so great.. That is something she may nver know but its time to get over it and grow up.
Happy
"live life to its fullest everyday"
Oh she's made it CLEAR she
Oh she's made it CLEAR she isnt over him or the fact that they didnt work. BM and I are nothing alike so she cant compare what didnt work between them and why it works for us. I accept her and the situation for what it is. I seriously want her to call when its about the boys, their health, grades, whatever, but when its past that, they have no reason to communicate. And she will purposely pick a fight just to talk about the past. Thats why he started hanging up on her for the past 2 yrs b/c he said he doesnt want her to disrespect me and he's tired of the SAME argument over and over.
How old is SS? Maybe you
How old is SS? Maybe you and DH can get him his OWN cell phone with a limited plan just so DH can call SS without having to go thru BM?
SS 8 & 4 and we thought
SS 8 & 4 and we thought about that, but he loses EVERYTHING! He asked for one but we have a feeling he will end up calling his mom or friends all the time ad the mins that are suppose to be used for calling his dad will be non-exisent. So maybe in a few yrs.