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Creating a helpless female

evilstepmotherJ's picture

Submitted by evilstepmotherJ on Thu, 11/21/2013 - 7:33am

Well, DH finally talked to SD last night, we noticed her room slowly clearing out each day and he decided to face her head on and find out from her mouth what was happening. She is a horrible communicator and will use avoidance for all uncomfortable situations. She is moving out and is moving in with her BF (20) and his family. They are not charging her any rent and are letting her stay there for as long as she likes. DH is fit be tied. Here he is doing his best to raise an independent self sufficient daughter and her BF's mother is doing everything in her power to make SD completely dependent on BF. We both find it hard to believe that this woman would even want to take on the responsibility that goes with having her there, all the household costs etc. Told DH that BF's mother must be extremely co-dependent, that is the only explanation I can come up with. SD asked if she could take all the furniture in her room and I said YES please. It is all crap and it would have cost us money to dispose of it all. SD stated that her and her BF were coming to move it all on Sunday but DH doesn't want BF in our house or damaging our house while trying to move the items out so DH and I will be moving all furniture downstairs to the garage on Saturday night and they can take it from there. I will be contacting our auto insurance today and advising them that she has moved out (she has her own car and policy but receives our insurance discounts because she lived in our house). We have a check ready for the balance of her inheritance as well as some bonds DH has for her from her relatives growing up.

YAHOO!! Can't wait for Sunday evening, finally the drama will be over (alledgedly)

Comments

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Thu, 11/21/2013 - 7:58am

I am in the same boat with my SD. She is completely dependent on others (others being not me or my husband).

She is 22 and has never had a job. She went straight from her mother's, to living with her husband and now she's divorced. So, it was back to her mother's. Now she's living with a boyfriend and I don't see that lasting, so I guess it will be back to her mother's.

I know it won't be here. Have that talk with your DH, that she will not be allowed to move back in when her and the BF split.

I hope she doesn't do something stupid with her inheritance.

ENuff's picture

Submitted by ENuff on Thu, 11/21/2013 - 8:10am

She will be back ~ or asking to come back.

The life of Riley ~ is in your horizon but Murphy's law will show up

Enjoy this time !!! That mother will eventually get exhausted of being ~ maid ~ all the aggravation that comes with young adults.

Should be interesting w the car insurance !!

evilstepmotherJ's picture

Submitted by evilstepmotherJ on Fri, 11/22/2013 - 4:47am

Thank you everyone for your support, it certainly helps me to feel less alone in this battle with SD. I never knew when I married my DH 4 years ago what that meant in regards to SK's and there have been some very rough days.

I talked to SD a little yesterday (came home from work sick during the day and she was moving out more stuff). I at least got to say my piece, very calmly, the rest is up to her. I do hope for DH's sake that once she moves away, their relationship will come back. He has raised her since she was about 4 all by himself and I know this is very difficult for him.

He seemed more upbeat last night or should I say more resolved about what is happening, and I do think he'd be down to an extend regardless of why she left had she left to go to college and such.

We have contacted a dear friend who does house cleansing and blessings and are setting a date up for her to come and clear out the negativity and bless our new home so that we may start fresh.

DH did say last night that he agreed that perhaps now it is time for US to live the life we have always wanted.