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BM favors ss and it really hurts sd's.......

yesican's picture

Well this has been bothering me for about a week now, dh informed me last weekend that sd's needed new backpacks. Now us purchasing the backpacks doesn't bother me at all, it is what bm did that really p*sses me off. BM took ss and sd's and bought ss (he lives with bm full time and doesn't do his visitation with dh, that is ss's choice. It is a long story and I have blogged about it before.) a backpack and told my sd's that they had to use the one they had from last year. WTF???? This really ticked me off, especially after what happened at the beginning of the month. The county fair was in town, we had sd's most of that time and we took them. BM had them part of the time, and she took them and ss and let ss get an airbrush tattoo and told sd's she didn't have enough money to get ones for them. While I don't think ss should have gotten this, I think it is totally wrong that she did not do the same for the girls. If they couldn't afford to get for all why just get for him and when the girls were with them, as I said before we had the girls most of the time, why couldn't she have taken him when the girls are not with her. It is like she rubs in their faces that he is better than they are. My sd's are really good girls and he is a big spoiled mess.

BM favors ss and he has become a very self centered manipulative hateful child. But the girls are 10 and 12 and he is 8. My two sd's are seeing how bm favors him and you can tell they are very hurt by it.

I try to really keep my distance when it comes to bm, I give dh my opinion (and that is all it is) and he uses it or not, it is totally up to him. DH is finding that what I say is usually true, with the whole backpack situation I guessed that she had bought ss one but not sd's and sure enough I was right.

Does anyone have any suggestions to keep sd's spirits up since bm treats them that way.

Comments

yesican's picture

In no way was I ever implying that I wanted to buy there happiness, that is far from what I want to do. These girls believe that the disagreements between both sides are their fault. Which is not true, it is that bm and dh need to get their heads out of their a** and bm needs to stop using them for control and dh needs to get some b*lls and learn to stand up for these girls.BM and DH need to learn to work for what is best for sd's not what is best for BM to control and DH is too chicken to cross her.SD's are wonderful girls, as for SS, BM has turned him into a nightmare by way of babying and buying hapiness, and totally turned him away from DH unless something is in it for SS (buying toys, trips to do fun things, etc.).

What I was hoping for would be some ideas, on ways of encouragement for self esteem and hopefully get them to realize that this whole mess is not their fault. I would greatly appreciate any thoughts from anyone on ideas

...the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it. - The Lion King

ratigan555's picture

My wife spoils her kids rotten and they value NOTHING! It sickens me because she spoils them in spite of the fact they are failing out of school and have no responsibilities at home. It is a bad road to go down because they only want more and more. Things get junked within days. Always favor value over equality.

Anthony