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DH is not thinking correctly.....

yesican's picture

Took my bd to the doctor this morning and she has pertussis (whooping cough) this is dh day to have sd's and then we have them for EOW visit this weekend. I personally don't think this is a good idea to have sd's come to our home when bd has this very contagious illness. I don't think he is planning on telling bm that my daughter has this but he is planning on telling sd's. I think this will majorly back fire in his face if bm gets wind of this. But I guess it is not my problem if they get sick, I will do my best to keep her away from them but I guess I also feel they get sick not my problem dh will face bm's wrath without me. That will suck to be him!!!!!

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stepmasochist's picture

kids don't get to escape each other when they're sick. So, I always try to look at it like that, but bm usually tries to quarantine the sick ones. It's probably better for them.

When I was about 7, my brother had scarlet fever and I remember, he was in his room the WHOLE time. I don't think my mom even let me see him come out to visit the bathroom! This was for weeks. But she kept me safe despite my brother being deadly contagious for about a month it seems.

I don't think it's right for DH not to discuss it with BM. But I think she shouldn't deny him visitation because of BDs illness as long as BD and SD can have separate space while she's there.

BMJen's picture

If so I would tell her, or tell DH he has to.

Because I would be VERY upset if my x and his wife visited with my son while someone has a contagious illness! Can't DH exercise his visitation next weekend?

**Of course it's up to you guys, your the parents to! But I would want to know and have the option in my son's case......though as the previous poster said in non blended families you don't get a choice! So I understand that side to......but I would still want to know. I would tell the Human Beast Bitch if my kids were sick....I'd let her decide if she wants SD over or not, if she wanted us to wait until next weekend I wouldn't mind....

livingontheedge's picture

As a BM I would not be happy if my exH took my biochildren when someone kids or adults was sick and literally contagious. My exH and I have been through this several times and we always let each other know when the kids or one of us is sick on visitation weekends. I think you DH needs to let BM know that there is a chance the sd's may get sick. I dont know if you have problems with BM or not, but not letting her know may open a can of worms!! Would your DH want BM to send the kids to him if they were sick and contagious and possibly get bd sick?

yesican's picture

I agree with you but I truly think this will back fire in his face for not discussing with bm. My oldest sd was sick for weeks 4 to 6 before bm took her to the doctor, I had to tell dh finally to tell bm to take her to doctor or get off of his butt and do it himself, that was a couple of weeks ago, she had brochitis by then. I will keep my bd away from all of the kids as much as I can until she is better.

Stop making people a priority in your life that only make you an option in theirs! author unknown

petitesphinx's picture

If you or hubby doesn't warn BM and her kids get sick or die from it (if they're not vaccinated, perhaps) then wouldn't that make you/him responsible? Don't know...might be a case against you, if it were to happen.

I would warn her, if you speak/email her or have hubby do it- giving her the option to keep her kids away and give your little girl time to heal. That is very contagious and shouldn't be played with.

I'm on the other end of this. BM ALWAYS sends her sick kids to my house to infect my little baby and other 3 kids and I am furious that she would deliberately put my kids at risk. Her youngest is constantly sick and is at the Dr (on our dime) every week (no joke) and then sends them to my house to expose us. I think to do such a thing is selfish and cruel. Please don't be like BM. Spend time with your sick little girl and try to get her well.

You wouldn't want BMs kids getting yours sick on purpose, would you? That would be like getting lice and rubbing your hair on her kids. It would be fun at first and you'd laugh at the thought of BM buying Rid, but you wouldn't laugh the next weekend when her kids gave it back to you.

Life has a funny way of coming back at you. Please protect your home and your sick little one. Smile

yesican's picture

I came home from work early so I could be with my daughter and on my dh way out the door I told him he needed to tell bm, that it would cause big problems if he didn't and I did not want that problem for either one of us.
He just pulled up with the sd's so we will see what was said.

Stop making people a priority in your life that only make you an option in theirs! author unknown