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I don't know what to do anymore

PiratePrincess827's picture

Submitted by PiratePrincess827 on Tue, 05/21/2013 - 4:33pm

I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and he has four children. His oldest two just started living with us. I have tried to connect with them but when my boyfriend is not around his children act worse than when he is around and I end up getting so frustrated that I don't want them to really be "right up under me," which his children say that is being mean to them and "i hate them". Well my boyfriend and i recently had a fight and he told me that they think i hate them and that I am mean to them. I've tried to explain to him that this is going on and that I get frustrated with them. I don't discipline them, I tell my boyfriend what they do and he does the disciplining. I have tried so hard to be nice and understanding because they are children but its like I am just someone they can all walk over then run and tell their daddy that I hate them and that I'm mean. My boyfriend only seems to see what I do because I'm still frustrated by the time he gets home from work. I don't know what to do because I am 21, in college, and don't have any children of my own. lately I just don't really say anything and left stuff be but i know that if i don't say anything it will only get worse. HELP!!!

Comments

3rdParty's picture

Submitted by 3rdParty on Tue, 05/21/2013 - 8:03pm

She is ABSOLUTELY CORRECT ^^^^^ Seriously re-evaluate! I made the mistake at 23 of hooking up with a man far older than me with 2 kids and a psychopathic ex wife. After 13 years of looking after his sorry ass and his kids he replaced me with a new younger model. Much as he did with Wife#1. Needless to say I had a greater appreciation for being crazy as a bag of cats.

RUN. Your young, with a bright college educated future that will only be blotted out by staying in this situation.

mommabear's picture

Submitted by mommabear on Tue, 05/21/2013 - 5:16pm

OMG.. you're only 21 and you're dating a guy with 4 kids.. oh honey!! RUN!!! Forgive me if that sounds awful, but you have your life in front of you.. LIVE IT.. and do so without the pain, heartache, frustration, and intolerance of stepparenthood! I would never imply that your guy isn't great.. and you obviously love him if you're tolerating 4 kids that aren't your's, and at such a young age.. but.. well - just like Kristinch1 said.. spend some time reading through all the blogs on this site and get a good idea of what you're facing.. it's a loooonnnnggggg road ahead, sweetie.. choose the path of least resistance (for this kind of situation, anyway).

Best of luck to you PiratePrincess!! Hugs Smile

Kilgore SMom's picture

Submitted by Kilgore SMom on Tue, 05/21/2013 - 5:28pm

If you were my daughter I would tell you to run like hell. No I would probably cause all kinds of hell. I have 2 grown daughters 29 and 23. Its hard raising you own kids. If you can't even discipline the skids while their there with you. Then you have less authority than a babysitter. Most of us on the site have asked the question would you ever date a man with kids again? Almost all of us said no. I hope you rethink what your doing.

momof5_1969's picture

Submitted by momof5_1969 on Wed, 05/22/2013 - 12:19am

I agree with the posters that you're so young, and to RUN! Run fast! Seriously -- start reading some of these posts, and get out now while you are young -- and before you've married him and realized that you are in hell. I'm 43 and it's hard for ME -- I can't imagine being 21 and having four skids! YIKES! I'm 43 and my DH has four kids. And they are BRATS! --- still! UG!

qtpie013178's picture

Submitted by qtpie013178 on Thu, 05/23/2013 - 7:46pm

Get out now. You are not even married yet, and he's being difficult and unsupportive and his kids are making it harder. I repeat, get out now. You seem like a smart, together young lady, you have better options! P.S. It gets harder after marriage.