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How to let go?

girlsmom's picture

Submitted by girlsmom on Tue, 04/16/2013 - 2:01pm

Forums: 
Adult Stepchildren

My SD (new to this site)is 23, today is her first day at her full time job. At 20 she decided to live us; dad (BD??) and me (SM?) becuase she couldnt stand living with mom (BM) and SF. She now is close to BM and is stand-offish to me. She loves me for many reasons(got a tattoo of a breast cancer ribbon when I was diagnosed). But whenever BM and her are close she shrugs me off. Back to my question...BM makes lunch for SD and buys her groceries (to bring back to my house)ie: cream cheese, and writes her name on it, ....I was upset....should I be? I dont care about the lunch, but sending food to my house???
Thanks for your input Smile

Merry's picture

Submitted by Merry on Tue, 04/16/2013 - 2:40pm

My exH has a hard time treating our bios as grownups. Sounds similar -- like your BM is packing her little precious off to summer camp and sending along her favorite things. Nothing serious here, just roll your eyes and recognize the crazy for what it is.

Towanda's picture

Submitted by Towanda on Wed, 04/17/2013 - 5:36am

I wouldn't sweat it either. BM is just sending care packages because she isn't care taker anymore. The name on it is pretty common to do when you have fellow "roomates" living with you and sharing one fridge.

I am sorry you get mixed signals from SD.

Congrats on your victory over cancer!

doingitforlove's picture

Submitted by doingitforlove on Thu, 04/18/2013 - 3:05pm

My live-in SD annexed a whole drawer in the fridge and a whole drawer in the freezer (that's 1/3 of my freezer space) plus a whole credenza. Wanted her food separate. Uh, ok whatever. When she leaves it out, I take it right back off the counter + table and put it wherever. Since, she wanted it separate. I can't help but think if my BS and his GF lived at my house, it would all be combined. I could be wrong but....

Amber Miller's picture

Submitted by Amber Miller on Sat, 04/20/2013 - 11:05pm

Sending food is great except for that this feels intrusive because she puts her name on it. I think that's ridiculous and weird. I agree with the comment above about how families share meals and food. I mean she's in her 20's and mommy labels her food? Stupid. The adult child should have a job and offer a few bucks to help pay the grocery bill. The way mommy labels the food feels annoying to me however I do wish someone would bring food for my 3 boys. They are teenagers and they are not overweight and they eat amazing amounts of food. I mean amazing amounts!

Towanda's picture

Submitted by Towanda on Sun, 04/21/2013 - 8:09am

There are soooooooooooos many bigger problems than a name on food in the fridge. I would let it go! A lot of folks on here complain that their Step's are eating their special food.

Pick your battles.

This isn't one of them.