If you read back in my blog, I've had similar issues with SKids as the next suffering step mother. Although, I feel that I may have turned a slight corner . This entry doesn't really have a moral or question at the end of it, but I felt the need to express my current feelings.

I went traveling for a couple of months, and decided that if I really want things to work with my bf, I need to make a real, hard effort- even if it is in pre tense. So I've been back for a month now and have been keeping to the target I set myself (not criticising, or being harsh about them around my Bf etc) although I would never be directly horrible to there faces. It's been very tough, as the more I try the more he thinks I'm happy about them being mentioned, or talked about, or contacted when we are having alone time. We were lying in bed on the 1st April and he was saying that his summer resolution was to stop smoking. He asked me what my resolution was and I replied "having a resolution to keep improving my mind set with your kids feels like a bit of a waste of resolution" , to which he replied "why? Me not smoking means a lot to you, and you working harder toward my children means a lot to me". And that made a lot of sense, even if it was comparing children to smoking.

Don't get me wrong, I still hate them, hate the fact he has them and hate/ dread every time they are mentioned or around. My Bf knows its all on pre tense, but I don't think that's doing any harm right now. Maybe if I try hard and long enough the understanding and accepting might become more natural and genuine? I love kids. But not his. Only time will tell. For one thing it's making me and my boyfriend closer which is the best thing. I fell in love with a man that happens to have kids. Not in love with 2 children's father. It's important to get those two differences straight .