Despite everything SO and I have been getting on quite well decently, where I WAS slowly learning to tolerate his children, and working hard not to create arguments over there behaviour and to be honest, there existence. BUT, a couple of weeks ago SS15 was caught smoking weed, and had admitted to also taking herbal drugs. I was worried initially, as of course drugs are bad for you, especially when your brain is still developing. But when SO started to get slightly obsessed with SS15 and his drug taking I started to get tired of the constant repeating of information I already knew.

The SO had his younger son SS13 round on th weekend to stay while BM went to one of her yoga retreats that she's so addicted to (even though she's the most stressed and irratic woman I've ever met!) . But this was okay because it was planned and I could tolerate one or two nights of staying well clear.

Then, on Monday at about 4:30 SO got a message form BM saying she couldn't cope with SS15 so was sending him round to SO's house for a few days. (SS15 isn't hard to manage at the moment, it's just bad mothering parent skills) . So of course SO said yes to having him to stay, which i completely understand. But that means now that SS15 will be with him untill Thursday, because on the weekend he is taking SS13 away for a long weekend.

I do not and can not spend time with SO while the SS's are around. I know as an adult and as he's told me I'm meant to see "the big picture and be loving and tolerating" but where do I fit into this? The answer is that I don't. Yet he has the cheak to turn around and say he rarely sees his children and that I should just chill and wait patiently for when he wants to spend time with me. I know I'm being slightly irrational but my masses of patience is wearing thin, and his attitude that I should stay as a toy for him to b picked up and dropped when his children call is really wearing thin.