I've been married to my DH for over 11 yrs. I have two SD who are now 13 and 16 and half. I raised them when they were 17months and other at 5yrs old. We have a Bio son together who is turning 10 soon. It never occured to me that relationship with a single father would lead to heartache, hardwork and so much of mental strain that I had to be admitted to hospital to say the least. Yes Dh was the same, enabler to two entitled brats who are nice only when their demands are met or else I'm labelled all kids of profanity there is out there. It became so difficult for the whole family when older one started playing about 4 yrs ago when she got close to her bio mom who is just a holiday indulgent mom. One that gets the better part of the girls and has to deal with two occasions namely Easter and alternate Christmas. Basically I've singlehandedly raised them while DH busy with his career and me struggling with a newborn and two daughters who were 6 and 3 when my son was born.

Both bio parents gives in to the girl's as they feel guilty and can not dicipline the girls. I've toiled for this long cooking, cleaning and basically slaving to the whim of whole family despite keeping a fulltime job. I'm up till 11pm most nights cleaning and packing lunches most weekdays. I am to be blamed in part as I am anal about healthy eating habits and always cook up storm to please everybody. DH comes home to a warm home and warm food and rarely have I not cooked unless I am sick. 

Older SD is lazy, unhygenic, foul mouthed and just unpleasnat to those who dont share her opinion. Spends all her time staring at her phone, social media and going out with her friends. Her room is filthy with food scraps, hides food, hides dirty soiled undies and bloody pads all around for all to see. I've even found maggots in her bags where she hides her uneaten food which is either stolen or uneaten lunches that I make deligently everyday. (I've stopped making them this year) 

What I can not stand is that she is maupulative, makes issue out of everything under the sun and ruins all family celebration if it is not ficused on her. Our house revolves around her and she has Daddy wrapped around her finger. What she says is what goes in the house. I cook what she likes, create events that makes her happy partly because I think that keeps peace at home. It has gooten out of hand as I've over compensated for her mother's lack of presence in her life as that is all SD wants, her mother. Older one feels abandonment issue with her mom and recently chose to move in with her by the end of year. This was around April this year. SD began to play up as she felt empowered of her mother wanting her so behaved in most abhorent manner, physically hurting my son (her half brother) to the point where he was having anxiety issues. He could not speak up around her, chew food noty to her liking, make any noise that annoyed her, while walking to after school tuitions, crossing the road, under the pretense of holding his hand, she would dig her long nails on his arms, twist his arms and just terrible hatred towards him. I was getting scared that she would push him under oncoming cars or worst hurting him by the time I drove home within half an hour of school finishing. I gave my son mobile phone for his safety which she would confisticate and hurt him still. Most days I come home speeeding like lunatic to find him crying, hurt or some dramas. Anytime I confront her she denies and sreams wolf and runs out f the house and making frantic calls to DH implying I'm hurting her or something to the effect. DH comes home all upset and with darkest of the mood and thats how she avoids being told off for her bullying my son. 
Well, BM spent two eeks of school holidays and figured out SD's behaviour. BM then decides to change her mind and doesn't her any more. BM did this after giving her false hope, initiating school transition etc only to be told "under no circumstances she is moving in with "her family" (she has another child (4yrs) with another man and is single mother) and she had two weeks of hell with the girls by text to DH. My guess is she could have hurt the little girl but I'm not entirely sure. 

In the mean time, me and son moved out of our own house one one accosion where he recorded her kicking the door and screaming profanity at him. He apprently hit him, pushed him by the neck and screamed at him to intimidate him. All along the younger SD keeps to herself and never defends the brother ot tells us anything if we ask her. Basically scared of the erratic sister. That day, in July my son and I moved to a rental place as temporary arrangement until SD moved out. Well, that didn't take place and now we are not sure what to do next. DH still visits us, younger SD visits us and I have still maintained