Should I stay out of it?
My teenage SS has been smoking pot for two years and did mushrooms not long ago at our house. I feel really uncomfortable when he's around and I set a boundary with my fiance that as long as he doesn't bring drugs into our house or arrive high, I would continue living here.
My fiance doesn't want to enforce the rule and doesn't have a problem with the behavior. I have searched SS room and found paraphernalia every time I go in there. He will then confront SS about it and says he will stop but it never happens. I am reaching a point where I either need to stay out of it and try to accept that this is happening, or move out.
I am really conflicted because I love my partner, and he fantasizes that we can be the Brady Bunch but I just can't stand his son. He will likely move out in 18 months but I'm just not sure I can wait that long and I don't like the look of our future holidays together. Maybe I should let it go, but I really wish just one adult in his life would hold higher expectations for him.
Agree with Gimlet. Put the
Agree with Gimlet. Put the wedding on indefinite hold.
You can't be The Brady Bunch
You can't be The Brady Bunch if Bobby won't stop with the drugs. I'd be moving on out of there. He can't even set some ground rules, like don't do drugs in the house. Even when my dh refused to set other boundaries with his family, he did tell them no alcohol allowed, then later our home became a non smoking area. He didn't like enforcing those, but he did it, and the in-laws who liked to drink and smoke learned to comply. They didn't come visit very often but so what? I didn't want to deal with a drunk or smell cigarette smoke in my own home and neither did he. Your fiance is showing you how it is going to be. He will not enforce the rules.
I agree with you he shouldn't
I agree with you he shouldn't be doing it or bringing it into the house.
Mmmm is your partner the
Mmmm is your partner the "hippie" type?
My husband is ok with his kids smoking pot as long as they do it outside the house and they are 18+ haha thats why SD19 dropped off of college to be a full time IG model and SS18 lives like a bum (0 school, 0 job)
Smoking pot as a teen when u have no degree and no life plans or directions is the worst thing they could do. SS18 wants to desperately move in with us because his lazy ass cant get a job or cook a meal or pass his GED. Of course my husband is perfectly fine with that
Teen druggies grow up to be lazy bums in your basement, you will end up weeping while his dad makes up excuses
Experience says No
Have experienced this. Please get a launch plan and the father MUST enforce. I have no real idea how any parent cannot see thru this behavior. Pot, mushrooms, this will lead to other drugs and quickly. Next your home will be overrun with his drug using friends and the fun will really begin. Do not do what I did and let fiance handle it, he won't. Throw out every ounce of weed, every needle, every bong, Everything. The screaming and bellyaching will begin immediately, Good. Create and enforce your own boundaries right this second. You are the adult, period. Do not ever apologize for standing up for yourself.
You will know pretty quick if your fiance is worth the effort.
Good luck!
It’s like your house too
You should have some say in running your house. Drugs should not be in the house, that the way you feel. BF is putting his Kids before you. You have no say. This is against the law .
BF and SK don't respect you. And your feelings. This is no way to live, Really should start thinking about this whole relationship.