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"Not Welcome" to attend graduation

ALK814's picture

It's not a lack of tickets issue, I was just informed by my husband that I'm not welcomed at SS 17's high school graduation, even though I was invited by him and mutual friends to attend and see their kids graduate. Not sure if I should blow it off and take myself out to a nice dinner, or quietly crash the event and just stand in the back on my own just to get some closure to this 8 year hellish step child/step mom relationship. 

dragonfly878's picture

Take yourself out to dinner, a movie, mani/pedi, etc...  have a wonderful time. I wouldn't want to go anywhere I wasn' wanted (that's just me) so disengage from all of it. When DH talks about SS's graduation- be happy for them (that way no one has anything bad to say about you) but also make sure you let your happiness shine through, too. 

Harry's picture

That SS is not welcome in your home anymore. Or any vacation or other fun things.  You are not welcome to pay for his college, car, ect 

caninelover's picture

You need to ask your DH what he wants.  If he wants you there as support then ignore SS and go.  If he thinks SS should dictate who goes then fine - but let DH know you're offended and it makes you want to spend no time with SS now he is an adult.

One thing I've learned is to tell SO when I'm offended or hurt by Bratty's (SD24) passive aggressive crap.  Doesn't mean I need him to do anything, I just need him to see my perspective so he's not confused when I don't swoon over any scraps of attention Bratty throws our direction.

Winterglow's picture

If the friends who invited you ask why you weren't there, be sure and tell them the truth - that your SS didn't want you there and you didn't want to make waves. Graduations are pretty dull anyway so it's not as if you'll be missing anything major. Enjoy a nice and peaceful time! 

Alterantively, you could spend the time searching your SS's bedroom for anything illegal and call the cops when you find it ... 

ESMOD's picture

Just go do your own thing.. unless there is another child graduating that you DO have a desire to support.. you don't like your SS.. he doesn't like you.. it is pure theater for you to go and pretend to be the supportive SM right?

advice.only2's picture

Thank your lucky stars you don't have to go pretend you give a rats a$$ about this kid.

CajunMom's picture

Go to GRADUATION with your DH; be there for the friends' kids. I would not clap or get excited when the SS's name is called. Only for the friends' kids.

Skip the thing completely. Arrange an evening with friends and have a BLAST; make sure to let DH know and let all the freinds who wanted you there to see their kids graduate know why you aren't there. Because SS doesn't want you there. And I'd be a bit snarky and tell DH, if anyone askes why you aren't there...that you had more pressing and important plans to attend. 

And as someone else said, your SS should no longer be invited on vacations or special events with you and DH. He's welcome to visit at home but nothing else. I would totally disengage from the SS. Let DH entertain him when he does come to the house.