SD threatens SM
Two years ago my 16 yo SD sent me a text with a video link to Teddy Olsteen "Killer Whale" video, which depicts a teen riding a mechanical killer whale at a watering hole in UK flying out of control into a sea of people with the caption, "Death comes in many forms...I have a Killer Whale, what do you have?"
This came on the heals of her BioDad and I filing a civil suit against her BM for the stimulus stipend money she stole during the pandemic by misfiling her taxes to gain these funds. We eventually won the can, but clearly this threat arriving days after filing from a teen I never text with was a threat in my opinion.
She has been hospitalized 2x since for apparent suicide attempts although toxicology reports show nothing, she reports taking handfuls of Rx and the nightime Advil. She has been diagnosed Bi-Polar and was presribed an anti-psychotic. She has failed to report for therapy (outpatient) nor filled her Rx since leaving this treatment facility. This second attempt occured three days after her BD filed a complaint with PD for her mother slandering his workplace with a derogatory Google Review. Not sure if she was again lashing out or truly sick.
Long and short, for 2 years I have asked my Husband to call her out on the threat, and he has refused saying it is between me and her...?!? She is now 18 and thankfully the CS has ended and he finally sent her an email letting her know she is not welcome at our home as she makes me feel threatened and that this email is "long overdue". He cc'd me on the email. Should I let this go and move on from the hurt that not addressing it caused since it is finally addressed? Am I wrong to have concerns about her threat?
Her BD and I have been together 10 years and married for 7, the point at which we married she started with the complaints about me and that she is "not a huge fan" of me.
Thanks for any input/thoughts
Never forget. If you choose to forgive, make it contingent on
her either staying gone, or maintaining absolute respectul behavior towards you and your DH. Anything less, she needs to suffer the full wrath of someone who would threaten a man's wife or who represents a threat to a marriage.
That DH did shit for nothing for far too long, if I were you, I would not forget his betrayal, and I am not sure I would ever forgive him for that... If were you.
smh
Just let it go. Make it clear to DH she is never to visit your
Just let it go. Make it clear to DH she is never to visit your home, if he wants to see her he can do it outside the home. She is now an adult, there is no reason for you to have any contact with her at all. She is never going to apologize, and even if she did it would be forced so would have no value. As to the threat itself - is that the only threat she has made? I think you should be aware and take normal precaustions to stay safe, but unless she continutes to act out towards you I'm not sure what else you can do.
Your DH should have handle it in real time, now that 2 years have passed there is not much he can do either. What are his plans as far as staying in contact?
Plans
Hello, thank you for your help and insight. His plans are to have a relationship with her outside of the home, like visiting her in college if she still plans on attending. She and her mother have 70% of the bill and we have 30% and she barely made it out of high school, so I am not sure she will go. Financially she and her mother cannot swing it most likely, so that will me visits locally for my husband. I do not want to even here her discussed at this point sadly. It goes much deeper than the threat, the sabotage and personal attacks over the years when I was bending over backwards to build repoire. I have removed her pictures from our home which I feel is toddler-like behavior, but she elicits a pysiological response in me (anxiety and stress) almost PTSD like at this point, so I need to not see her. I feel badly that is has come to that point. We have two amazing kids (my bio kids- grown and living on there own) and two grandbabies to focus on.
Thank you for your help. Have a great night!
TBH... dredging up a 2 yo
TBH... dredging up a 2 yo meme that was sent to you was probably not necessary. More recent treatment would have been better. .a general.. Due to ongoing disrespect of my wife and marriage, you are not welcome in our home.. if anything.
But.. to be honest.. it sounds like mom was definitely driving a lot of this.. may have even sent that message.. and the girl sounds like she has issues.. and perhaps could not control herself and was certainly immature.. is her dad willing to toss her away?
No toss here
Hello,
No, he will not remove himself from her life. He sadly messages her, as he has for 6 years since we married, pining for a response from her. A response only comes when she needs a prom dress, or money for something online sadly. She ignored his father when he was dying of cancer for two years up until his last day in the hospital...sad. Anyways my hubby has too much guilt and neediness for her to move on. He has lost both his parents and at times lashing out about things we are doing for / with my grown children and the resentment pops up here and there. But my kids love and adore him despite his own past with me committing DViolence over the years which we now have solidly in the past for 3 years due to him stopping drinking and lots of anger management therapy.
Thank you for your help and insight. Have a great night!