My SD is the single most wasteful person on the earth. Everything is disposable (including cell phones). When I lose or tear up something..throw it away and get something new (and she does). And food...omg don't get me started...she and and her friends have wasted 5 lbs of flour and a canister of sugar along with about $20 worth of spices in a bout to make pancakes and my whole kitchen was literally destroyed in the process. She takes a couple bites of food after making a big full plate of something and throws out the rest every single time. I never was one to fuss about wastefulness that much but this is wayyyyyyyy over the top. Youre not being petty...your actions are totally warranted.

SS13 used to gob Nutella and Peanut Butter so thick on his bread that it would drip out onto the plate and he would rinse it down the sink instead of eating it. I asked him once not to spread it so thick since he wasted it that way. Huge eyeroll. SM is a douchebag. Yeah yeah, what's new.

So I just stopped buying it for about 2 weeks, and it's his favorite.

Why? Because Fuck em, that's why.

I love all of these --- they made me laugh! After the day I had -- I needed the laugh!!! I especially loved the ones of leaving the dishes in husband's closet or where they could stumble over them! haha! That was good! Under the covers!! Awesome!! I'm storing them away for future reference!! I'm not above being petty }:)

I'm so relieved not to be alone. We are definitely having "messy" issues with SS; from kitchen to common area. DH thinks the best approach is to tell him, every time, that something needs to be done, with a time it needs to be done by. If it's not done then, remind him, and on the third time, send him to his room, then let him out and "make" him do it.

I'm from the school that if someone else makes a mistake, you should not be the one doing all the work. DH disagrees and feels like a 13 year old is not mature enough to remember to pick up after himself (the official rule, which I explained, is that by bedtime, everything needs to be out of common areas - living room and kitchen - and where it belongs, or it's going "away.")

DH doesn't like it because SS has come to him a number of times angry and frustrated. *Sigh* personally, I think that's a good, motivating for change reaction.

SO. I am working on disengagement, and figuring out how to balance maintaining respect and care for SS (because I am so freaking pissed off at his manipulative, nasty attitude and behavior right now) but keep boundaries and not be driven crazy in the meantime.

DH and I have agreed that the consequences need to come from him (thank god), not me, although it was part of an awful argument where he said I expect too much and look for every little thing SS leaves out. At any rate, we agreed that I'll put it in DH's closet and he can choose how he addresses it with SS without involving me. It helps me feel like I have some control in my own home; I'm willing to make the sacrifice of my time to put stuff in the closet (which includes sealing food/plates in ziploc bags, which I have done) and quit trying to "make" SS behave. DH can then decide what he wants to do, and hopefully less arguing.

Holy moly, the stepmom gig can be a really tough one sometimes. I am so grateful for my relationship with BD, and really hope that when SS is a little older, (35?) we can laugh about all of this then.