1 more year SD
SD is almost 17 and is still wreaking havoc between BD, me and DH, I am asked to monitor her FB, twitter, and kik acct. for awhile now I have been showing him everything he wanted to know about (mind you SD has lied all her life like her BM and thinks the world and everybody should revolve around her)recently I found she was sexting with a boy on her Ipad well DH put a stop to that (so he thought) and again it continues the lies the disrespect, last minute plans, creating conflict between DH and myself and BD to make herself look like the victim. I also found out she has been lying about our BD and stating to all her friends and BM that all BD does is sit on her "fat lazy a** on her laptop all day long everyday" her words not mine and she is left with all the chores (SD hasn't done chores for MONTHS literally, BTW our BD is not fat or over weight at all) our BD helps me cook everyday she cleans her room does her own laundry no help from me what so ever I swear, she vacuums and dusts when I am at work and of course helps me with the dishes, I have had it with SD, our BD doesn't need this, SD states she has practice all week and has not been to 1 practice yet now she has plans to go to BM's wedding this weekend and of course BM wants her to drive to her house (so SD can give her derelict sibling BM's other kid a ride to the church and she has been warned not to have that sibling or anyone else in that car until it is in her name and insurance ALONE) Im sure we will hear about it later but in the mean time DH and I argue all the time over SD and all he says is I would like to have some faith in her for her to change ( ok then). I have also started to disengage DH is not happy about that stating im giving up on our kids ( UHH Excuse me I don't give up easily but when you disrespect me and my family then don't expect me to drop everything for you, as far as SD goes she has another influence in her life he gets upset when I state that but its true)our BD tells me at least 3-4 times a week that she asks for some help whether to get something out of reach or whatever and SD tells her ask mom (me) later when I get home, her room is a fricken mess, laundry hasn't been done going on 3 weeks now, there is just so many things going on I cant even put in writing right now. Have any of you ladies gone through anything like this before? Can you give me some advice? sorry for the long rant.
It's not your place to care
It's not your place to care what SD says to BM about whomever. Don't even let that bother you. SD mouthing off to BM does not affect you or your daughter.
Just handle your house. Who gives an eff what SD thinks or says when she goes to BM's??? It's isn't "SD disrespecting your BD", it's a normal COD teen playing one side against the other- and you are buying it hook, line, and sinker. Take away her power to do this!!!!! You would be happier if you kept the homes separate!
How do you even KNOW what she says to BM anyhow?
We know what is being said by
We know what is being said by her texts to her BM, with BM in turn telling her to erase them Like I had mentioned before there are quite a few things that have gone on over the years (btw we have full custody of her since she was 2)
^^Agreed. Don't go around
^^Agreed. Don't go around trying to lasso your SD. She will wrap her own noose herself.
Okay, okay... I certainly
Okay, okay...
I certainly could have worded it better. What I meant was the OP can't control what SD says at BM's house, and if she were to stop caring about it and trying to monitor it, and saw it for what it was)just pitting homes against one another) that she would feel freer.
Example:
Outraged call from BM: SD Special Pants says she has to do ALL THE CHORES while BD doesn't do any!!! This isn;t fair and I want you to stop!!!"
OP: Well SD is lying. The girls have equal chores. Would you care to hear the outrageous stories she tells about YOU???
Problem solved.
It just seems the OP is taking this very personally, and likely because she actually does love and care for this kid and wishes their family would blend better.
What SD is doing sucks, but it isn't necessarily personal. She's just using what ammo she can to pit one side against the other.
To answer your question, YES,
To answer your question, YES, I have dealt with one of these...she just moved out of my house on Christmas Day! I have also had to deal with the "you don't care" crap from DH, too.
My advise? Disengage as much as possible! If something affects you or BD, then you speak up...but to DH! When Her High B***hness (new name by the way...used to be SheSloth) used to leave her crap all over or leave messes all over my kitchen counters, I would tell DH that HE needed to make her come out and clean it. 9 times out of 10, he would clean it himself...still got clean, though it would frustrated the crap out of me because he was not teaching her jack!
I gave up telling him anything about what I found on her social media and such, because he would just have little talks with her and that was that. She would go right back to posting provocative pics, and doing who knows what on Skype! I still peeked at her social media, but more for my own protection...so that I knew what was going on, and if we ever heard those words "dad I'm pregnant" I would me of no surprise to me!
The girl moving out of my house was my only saving grace! We can finally start getting back to a normal life less turmoil and drama. Sure, because the girl is still under 18, and there will still be calls from BM demanding this or that, we aren't 100% drama free, but at least it will not be a daily dose any longer.
And like the previous poster said...BM would be totally ticked if she heard what Her High B***hness says here! I know the girl is running my name and DH's through the dirt! Why? Because I've heard her do the same thing with BM and her stepdad here in my home! The girl says what she has to in order to get what she wants! I'm pretty certain the little liar has gone to BM and said that there is NEVER any food in this house...that we never feed her! Of course, this is a twist on the fact that I don't keep junk food in this house and the girl simply doesn't want to eat what is fixed because it is too healthy...not enough grease or sugar! But again...they say what they have to in order to get what they want! The best thing we can do as steps is just sit back and watch the show. As another poster above said, she will wrap her own noose herself!