Time well spent

Forums:

First off, we share 50/50 custody, we do week on/week off. Well we have SD Sunday night to Monday afternoon and on BM's week I watch SD while she is at work so during her week she has her from Monday night to Sunday night.

BM asked to take my SD, her Daughter, to a birthday party on an evening we usually have her because of her working. Well she said she would just keep her over night which we had no problem with either. But then a little less than 5 hours after getting her she texted me asking if we would want her back so it would be easier for morning time. Which I am grateful for, but at the same time this has happened before and I feel like she is just giving up her time and while it's awesome for us to spend time with SD, but I also feel bad for SD because it seems like her BM is always pawning her off...

All while this is going on I had to drive 30 minutes, which is halfway for the both of us seeing as we live an hour apart, to meet BM to exchange SD. I keep being told since she basically wants us to take her back that I should tell her to bring SD all the way to us.

Opinions? Thoughts?

Either BM brings her all the

Either BM brings her all the way or your DH drives the hour roundtrip to get his own kid. You're being generous enough by watching her.

You can also ignore her calls. If she is supposed to have SD, then let her figure out a babysitter. If it's an emergency, she'll text or call and leave a voicemail. As it stands, she knows that if a better opportunity comes along that she has someone that will drop everything to give her free time. Make it hard on BM, and she'll stop making an effort - which may not be a bad thing.

I'd also push my DH to consider full custody if BM is pawning her off more and more. Seems unfair to everyone involved except BM to put up with a chaotic schedule and you all having to expend more money on SD while I assume BM doesn't pay CS.

BM has it made: free babysitter, open schedule, and doesn't have to pay CS for the time she isn't with her daughter. Y'all are getting screwed.

We know...and DH pays CS..

We know...and DH pays CS...but we feel if we take her to court we would still get screwed...

And thank you for your input and advice!!

She sounds like a typical BM.

She sounds like a typical BM. As long as you are at her beck and call and follow her orders and favor requests she will allow you to have the child as much as possible. BECAUSE most BMs don’t actually want their kids as much as they preach they do, most of them just want the control to say who and when their kids will spend time with. I will bet the farm that if your DH ever came at BM asking to modify the custody arrangement to reflect all the time you have her on BMs time then the BM would flip her shit and stop letting y’all have all the extra time. She’ll find a sitter instead.