So after my fiances house fire, we were in a rush to find a home of our own. He has a 6 year old son who has primarily been at my fiances mothers house on visitations and never real 'home' with his dad. According to my fiance (which i take with a grain of salt because he is bitter), this child can do anything he wants when at his mothers house. and i KNOW he can get away with ANYTHING when he is with my fiances mother. Last weekend was the first weekend we brought him home to our new house, and last weekend was the first time i really started to dislike and become annoyed by this child. Lets start at the beginning....

My parents divorced when i was 2, so i know what its like to have a step parent, and i try to step parent like my original step mom did (over time i ended up with about 4 different ones). She was loving and kind and taught me things, but was also no nonsense. my father was VERY no nonsense, and i learned quickly what i could and couldnt do with him. after becoming an adult, i decided this is how i would parent, because i dont want my kids to run all over me like i did with my mother because i knew i could... But last weekend.....oh this kid.

So he comes over to the house for the first time, and i had already told myself to be patient, this is all new to him, bt dont be TOO lienent.So i make dinner...he makes a comment about how he doesnt like what im making. I kindly tell him he should try it before he decides he doesnt like it. needless to say, he eats it all. him and his dad play for a couple hours and then its bedtime. his father puts him to bed and not even 2 mins later he comes downstairs saying he had a bad dream...his father halfway scolded him and put him back to bed. the next morning, i make breakfast and the child helps. when its time to eat, he wants to talk and talk and talk and let food get cold. i keep telling him he needs to eat and he barely does. so i remind him there are starving children in africa and h eneeds to be happy he even gets food. once he is "finished" he then asks me for a fruit snack...i give it to him, against my better judgement.

His father goes to work and leaves him with me, 15 mins later i hear my name being called from the bathroom....he shit his pants. Now this isnt a huge deal, except that he never does this, then acted like it wasnt a big deal.im thinking to myself "oh so u think u can shit ur pants and have me clean it up and not care at all? cool."...of course no one sends him with extra underwear...so i have to pack him up and run him to the store...without underwear. As we are getting dressed, he is giving me a hard time about going...im thinking "its not up for discussion, u shit yourself...now we have to go out in the cold, YOUR FAULT"

Once we get in the store, its "i want i want i want"....and im saying " no no no"...he is testing me in the store, running around, asking for everything, not listeneing when i say stay near me. i almost told him that someone is going to snatch him and steal him...but im trying to not traumatize kids. I finally get him the underwear he wants and tell him to go put them on in the dressing room. He goes in there, and then just hangs out. i go in after 5 mins to see what the problem is...he doesnt wanna put them on cuz he doesnt want to take off his shoes. I tell him he needs to put them on an we have to go pick up daddy. When we get to checkout, he wants me to buy him gum, i say no, he gets an attitude...i ignore him. thats it.

So we finally get home, and he is playing on the cell phone...i tell him i need to use the phone...his response was "well im using it" (im sorry, but are u kidding me? i dont CARE ur using it. ur a CHILD, and im and ADULT, and i need the phone, im not catering around your game of angry birds"

so i go upstairs to make my call...child follows. i tell him 3 different times to please go downstairs so i can talk on the phone...he keeps bugging me while he SEES me on the phone....i finally say "I AM ON THE PHONE!"...because clearly, telling u nicely doesnt work.

His father comes downstairs and talks with him, explains to him he is a child and there is grown up time and child time, and right now isnt child time....this kid actually couldnt comprehend he isnt on the same level as an adult. THAT annoyed me.

So he comes upstairs, asks me for oreos (which i shouldnt even give him because he didnt want to finish is bfast) but i tell him yes, hold on ill get them when me and dad come back in from the garage (at this point, i need a cigarette) not even 2 mins in the garage, the kid opens the door and says "daddy...can i have some oreos"....his dad says yes when we come back inside ill get them. I tell my fiance tht that kinda shit bothers me....u just asked me for oreos, so why are u going behind me and asking your dad? when i told u i would get them when i am done? My fiance tells him dont ask ur stepmom then as me for something in the same breath. I saw this as the child trying to be sneaky, or thinking he can get over on me....and a child thinking they can get over on me really pisses me off.

So his father gives him the entire pack of oreos and lets him go to town, knowing we are going to a party with FOOD in an hour. When his dad asked how many he had, he said 5 or 6 or 7, his dad said ok ahve a couple more and we are leaving. in reality, he ate an entire row of double stuff oreos...i took the cookies right then and put them away. ur lucky u got ANY in the first place....and u have no business eating an entire row on oreos.

so we get in the car, the kid is extremely annoying, making annoying kid sounds...u know, the kind they make when they jsut want to hear their own voice. i dont say anything, because i keep telling myself im overreacting, he is a kid, thi sis what they do. except he is NEVER annoying like he was this day.

We get to the party, he plays with other kids, im off the hook. i make him a plate of food, sit him down and walk away....then notice he disregarded MY plate of food when i saw him in the food line again....i let it go. whatever. he ends up going home to his mothers that night and i tell myself to get some sleep, ill hate him less in the morning. Its been an entire week and i am STILL annoyed by this child and not looking foward to seeing him at all this weekend. i feel so guilty, cuz he is just a kid and i shouldnt feel this way...but he is just a spoiled kid to me, and that turns me off. i dont like the fact that he thinks he can have what he wants when he wants it. i dont like that he wont eat his bfast or dinner...then expect a meal right before bed. when i was a kid, if u dont eat, u go to bed hungry. period. i hate that all these adults CATER to this child....i dont know who i am annoyed with more...the adults who treat him like the mesiah, or the kid who thinks he is entitled to everything. and i know i sound terrible and mean...i AM new to all of this...i need HELP in how to cope with the selfish ways of children...because im viewing this situation as if im dealing with an adult....HELP!!!!!!! Is it ok to dislike your step child? should i just back off and give the answer of "ask your father" everytime?