Yeah more blended family tears.....
This is my second marriage. I feel like it is twice the work. I have a blended home. His 2, my 2 and then we had one. Yes, there is 5 kids. No they are not here all the time.
I feel exhausted all the time. I know I have an infant but all our kids are 10 and under and it takes alot to look after them.
I feel like I can't give my own children that I birthed enough attention. I feel like I am being pulled into 15 different directions and I only have 2 arms.
I should have known better. Lots of times I feel like I should be alone. I am not sure. I had a complex growing up, being in 2 blended homes myself and being abused in many forms. Sometimes it is the fear from the abuse talking, sometimes I am just fed up. I also have a hard time regulating my emotions at times, which does not help.
Not too sure what else to do.
I get overly emotional when I have to deal with him and his kids. I feel they are inconsiderate alot of the time. I dunno, I read alot of what others write and I feel the same.
Sometimes I just want to escape and run away from him and his kids.
I feel like a rented slave. I feel unappreciated.
Have you ever felt alone in a marriage when there is 7 kids? never alone with the kids just with the husband. No time for anything. No time for a relationship. No time to talk. No time except run in 12 different directions.
Here I am crying again....yes, I am tired. Yes I am emotional.
It can be like a vicious
It can be like a vicious circle.The stress and the additional challenges wear you out.And then something else happens, SO doesn't unintentionally back you up or the Skids are cheeky or ungrateful.maybe your own kids are demanding.And you don't sleep well.And therefore you react more emotional as you want, which increases the feeling of being alone, not being able to cope and sadness.When I say "you" I mean "me" of course....that's what I experience at the moment, this weekend.
It helps to post here and to know you are not alone in tis.
Also, we will take a babysitter tonight- this works miracles in recharging.
Please look after yourself.
I can relate to what you are
I can relate to what you are going thru. My boyfriends 3 children were pre adolescent and 2 teenagers when I first met him. My plans to move in 5 yrs ago were with my 1 pre adolescent daughter. We moved in. His daughter got pregnant at 17 just before I moved in and things went downhill from the beginning. She was not ready to be a mom. She left dirty diapers folded up in balls all over her room. Curdled milk bottles under furniture. Her room where the baby wandered around was a death trap. She split with the father of the baby, 16 yrs old and started bringing boys over and ignoring the child to the point of danger and expecting everyone else in the house to do her work. Shen didn't clean up food messes after herself or baby. Her dad seemed paralyzed to lay down the law and be the responsible parent you should be so I tried to parent her like she were my own child who were taught to be responsible (sometimes the tough love approach), and that led to fights between me and bf as he said I was too hard on her. She had no rent to pay no chores to do and had part time custody of the child. She is 23 now and not much has changed. Now come my 2 older children in a bad economy moving in and his disabled mother who could no longer care for herself. Oh ya so that meant a caretaker living in (our rather large home). All and all approximately 10 people under one roof "blended" family..........talk about mentally exhausted troubleshooting everyones problems and bf and I never agreeeing on a parenting style. I felt completely unsupported by him and he felt I needed too many rules for the kids. Anyway.......I wish I tried counseling sooner as we may still be together but I just moved out 2 wks ago because he asked me to. It seems like he wants to be 100% supported by me to make the decisions as to how to handle his kids and I feel like we need to put ourselves as a couple first and make sure the parenting style reflects less insanity and environment that is comfortable for he and I to live in. If not , I feel the older kids can get out.....4 are over 18 and can go live your own life your own way.....but "daddy" thinks thats harsh and asked me to leave......good luck .....try counseling and try to get him to see that kids won't always be there and they need to know they cannot divide you. If they get that upper hand....it's over!