Would you leave if you could?

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I'm just curious about what you all would do....if you could leave your present situation, DH, SKs, all the stress and tension and have an easy, simple, no strings attached divorce, knowing you'd be taken care of after you left, would you leave?

no, I could leave easily if I

no, I could leave easily if I wanted to , but despite all, I wouldn't - I have the HOTTEST DH of all times and those 2 little skid shit heads wont screw that up

That's exactly how I feel!

That's exactly how I feel! Financially, I'd have no problem leaving and taking care of my kids on my own. Money's not an issue.

But I have a SUPER hot and awesome DH that I love with all my heart, and I refuse to let the stepbrats screw up the good thing we have together!

Who knows what the future

Who knows what the future holds since my SD is only 10, but no, right now I would not leave.

I, too, have a pretty hot man.

I have to agree with above I

I have to agree with above I think my DH is pretty hot.

I wouldn't leave, especially since he has realized to let me enjoy our time when he is at work SS/BM free unless something major happens, and even when SS is home he is pretty good at continuing to give me adult and us time. As for as I know SS is still even coming around so no leaving for me.

I've been contemplating this

I've been contemplating this for months. I've had my life threatened by his parents, received an accidental black eye and busted lip (it really was accidental, but it still pisses me off), been a babysitter to his three kids so BM could have romantic, kid-free weekends, only to be trashed, disrespected, lied about and turned on....my blood pressure is through the roof, I'm no longer just a "social" drinker, anxiety attacks are almost a daily thing now, and no amount of anti-depressants help. Damn, I just re-read this and feel like I know what I have to do....but I'm so beat-down, I don't even have the strength to take that step, and I'd be doomed financially.

Then start saving up, each

Then start saving up, each pay check put some aside so you won't be doomed. I think all of us know how hard it is and reading post of other people leaving you have a awesome understanding support group behind you. There is a point where we need to start thinking about what is best for ourselves.

I'm not employed right

I'm not employed right now....hoping to be in the fall. I just need to hang on as long as I can.

I'm so sorry you're going

I'm so sorry you're going through such hard times. Yes, hang in there. ((Hugs))

Please seek out some support!

Please seek out some support! If not from friends/family then from a local community women's support group! Do some research on the internet! It sounds like you've been experiencing abuse (at least from the in laws) so get a community lawyer (doesn't have to be a hotshot) to help you or talk to someone about pro bono work and remove yourself from this situation, before you become a clinically depressed alcoholic! Surely the divorce will entitle you to alimony and/or maintenance from your husband and even if you don't....the empowerment you'll experience from taking these initial steps will hopefully be a catalyst in giving you the confidence and vigour in finding a job for yourself. It doesn't matter what it is.

Please find the strength! You only have one life - don't let some man and his demons ruin it!

In a New York minute

Well I am the only one that

Well I am the only one that has a not hot DH.. And I am smoking hot (lol)... Seriously when we are out men never assume I am with him they just think we are friends! He is tall, just cute and overweight... I am tall, I work out daily and my body shows it, long blonde hair, long legs... Yes another females basic nightmare!! Hahaa... And after the converstaion we just had about strangely clingy SD12.. He is going to leave.. I will not have my daughter or myself a front row ticket to the freak show!!!

My SD12 is clingy too! It

My SD12 is clingy too! It drives me crazy how she always wants her "daddy" and plays with hishair, sits on his lap, massages his back, lies in our bed cuddling him, etc! Blood is boiling just thinking about it!

Yes. If I didn't have our 9

Yes. If I didn't have our 9 yr old together, whom I do not want to put through divorce, I would have left several times over
I love dh, but I have had enough of the crap.

For now I am just biding my time

I'm surprised about the mixed

I'm surprised about the mixed response. Most ladies seem to hate their situation and skids so much I thought more of you would have gone for the NY minute approach!

The reason I ask is that I've separated from my DH (who is also hot!) mainly because he's been verbally abuse and controlling, but also because I can't stand to live with SDs anymore - who live with us full time. My family has been great and given me somewhere to live and my business is picking up too because I now have more time to devote to it and I feel much calmer and happier (no more jealousy or anxiety when SDs are around or walking on eggshells). It's just that DH is trying hard to make things work again and is promising change in the house, more discipline and rules for SDs (who currently walk all over him) and for him to not be controlling and to seek help to work on his temper...basically telling me what I want to hear.

It's hard not to get sucked back in and I need to find the strength. This site has been a godsend! I love you ladies and respect you for enduring so much crap, and I was just curious what you would do if you could do it all over again.

I'm with some ladies here...it's hard to say goodbye...I just wish he and I hadn't have met.

I'm with some ladies

I'm with some ladies here...it's hard to say goodbye...I just wish he and I hadn't have met.

THAT is exactly what I told my OH last week.

That I wish he had never looked me up again (we were each others first bf/gf as teens) That I wish he had never come to visit me, or promised me this wonderful life if I moved here to be with him....

No my life wasn't great then, but I was happy enough, I was at peace, and things were good. I was lonely sometimes, but it was ok.

Now. Not so much. I think (because I have the escape plan ready and waiting as soon as I decide I have really had enough) about leaving every day. He promises change, and small ones are made - then we start to slip/slide back into the old patterns again. But there are times when it IS that amazing life he promised me, that is great and lovely and wonderful. And that is why I stay. At this stage I think leaving having known what "could" have been would be harder to bear than never having known him again at all.

How sad.

Oh yes, I am leaving. I can't

Oh yes, I am leaving. I can't wait!!! Strings, no strings... whatever. I am out!

*

HELL YES!!!!!!!! But it's MY

HELL YES!!!!!!!! But it's MY house. I'm hoping guilty daddy will run off with some other sugar mamma

Everyone and anyone CAN

Everyone and anyone CAN leave. Those who stay in a terrible or abusive situation do it because they choose to. JMHO.

I wouldnt leave him as in

I wouldnt leave him as in split up entirely..BUT.... about 6 months ago he moved out, we were arguing alot (mine was stress over skids, but I didnt admit that)and I have to say that when it was just me and my daughter, it was HEAVENLY! I struggled financially, but I didnt care and I managed.

OH didnt fair as well, struggled financially worse than me, and he spent the first 4 weeks dealing, looking after, feeding etc his own kids, and he didnt like it too much. He started coming to mine on the weekends with SD so he could have "help" looking after her.
He realised how much I actually did, and he moved back under my terms 3 months later, but he never admitted to this though! lol

I wouldnt leave him as in

So my answer is no, because I love dearly, but it doesnt mean I have to love the skids, but I would live seperately though.

I hate to say it - and would

I hate to say it - and would never say it out loud - but I also sometimes wish I'd never met DH. I wouldn't know that I was missing out on anything, and I certainly wouldn't have so much bullshit in my life now.

Things were SO much simpler and more enjoyable before we met. I can't change the past and I have no intentions of leaving, but sometimes I do wish things were the way they used to be before DH and I met.

No. I tease my DH he's ruined

No. I tease my DH he's ruined me for all other men ... because he has "exceptional skills" in a certain department.

But I'm also still in the honeymoon phase. Ask me again in a year

Coming back to this thread

Coming back to this thread after what I said before...

I was severely pissed off that night.. haha..

I don't want to leave. I love him, I love our life together and I adore our 9 yr old.

If I could go back and do it again, I would probably NOT. Or I would have kept our relationship L.A.T.
(living apart together)
I would not jump in at the deep end thinking I could be mom to these kids and we'd live happily ever after.

I do love our family. I just wish that raising teenagers wasn't so blooming hard! It is hard enough under perfect circumstances, but raising skid teens and come out the other end with your sanity intact is a whole different ballgame.

I would NOT recommend it to anyone!

Thanks for your honesty. My

Thanks for your honesty. My SKs live with us full time and I'm now in a mental place where I just dot want them anymore. I want a normal marriage and I want to stop fighting about SKs. Life was so much simpler before I met DH and I miss it. The problem is I love DH so much and leaving is hard. But I don't want to be a full time stepmother anymore. I need more fulfillment from life.

I could leave. I mean,

I could leave. I mean, financially and all I could. But the thought breaks my heart. Sometimes I want to leave but I can't because I love him:(

That's where I am, katielee.

That's where I am, katielee. Financially, I'd be okay leaving. I'm not dependent on DH in any material way and would be fine living on my own. I was a single mom for five years and did just fine.

I love my DH dearly, and our skid-free weeks are like Heaven, but I've about gotten to the point that I can't even stand the sight of his kids anymore. I dread their visits (they're coming tonight, to be with us for a week), and I SERIOUSLY don't want to go home tonight.

I've started getting home with my own kids later and later on nights that the skids are there, and I'm pretty sure DH has picked up on that, though I've never said outright that his kids are the reason I find so many reasons to come home late.

The thought of leaving DH breaks my heart, too. I've never found anyone who fits me so perfectly, and that I'm so awesomely happy with...except when his kids are at our house, and I'm expected to become a maid, chef, janitor, whatever. I've begun refusing to clean up after them, and it's causing so much friction between DH and me that it's not making anything easier on me.

It's like I can't really disengage, because that just creates a whole new set of problems, but it's the only option that I feel like I have right now. He's devastated that I'm not thrilled at the thought of picking up after his kids and doing so many things for them that they're all damn well old enough to do for themselves. It's a terrible, terrible situation, and one that I can't easily get out of. I love him too much to just pack up and go.

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Would you leave if you could?