OK so BF and I have been together for almost 6 years. He has 2 kids from his first marriage (boys, ages 8 & 11). For the entire duration of our relationship, they have lived w/their mother most of the time, and with us EOW. Well, starting in January, they are moving in w/us 5 days a week-and will live w/her every weekend. :O BF has a full time job, I work part-time in the evenings so I can (mostly) be a stay at home mom 2 our to kids-ages 4 & 2. We of course pay a buttload of money to his ex for child support (most of which she uses to buy herself things, and very little for the kids...she has not had a job in the 6 years we've been together).

Anyway...we have never had a lot of money. In our 6 years together we've never gone on vacation of any sort. Finally, we are getting to a point where we are a little better off financially, as he has a better paying job and I'm working more as well. I'm pretty much the one in charge of finances, and I figure that IF I can save 1/2 of all my paychecks starting in January (the other half of mine go to savings), that we will be able to afford a SMALL (like 3-4 day tops) vacation next summer. HOWEVER we can NOT afford to take all 4 kids...and to be honest, I don't want to take the SKs. They aren't holy terrors, but they aren't made to follow rules by their dad, and get away w/way more than they should. I've basically disengaged and refuse to constantly be the one to discipline them. It just wouldn't seem like a vacation w/them along. For one, I know they'd whine and complain that they are bored the entire time, especially w/the things my younger 2 like to do.

I've mentioned the idea of a vacation a few times to BF, and though he hasn't mentioned the other 2 yet, I KNOW he is going to want them to come along. Am I awful for not wanting them to? We really can't afford to, as for one, that would mean an extra hotel room every night, besides food, etc. And two, I just don't want them there. During the summers, we have agreed that they will go back to living w/their mom most of the time, and use EOW until school starts again, so it won't be like we are sending them off so we can go on vacation w/out them...but they will know that we are going. I do feel somewhat guilty, but I also would like to enjoy the first vacation I've been on in almost 10 years.

Thoughts?