So...what a week. This is a long blog-more for my own recording so dont' expect anyone to read it all lol.

I totally disconnected from online world since I've been on vacation this week. My boys father had for once in 7 years offered to have him on his vacation week for the entire week-they were out of school. They did GREAT. They traveled to the beach, overall had a great time. I was thrilled to know know how well it went. Some much needed bonding time w/their dad. And YES I got a much needed break and de-stress week also

Bf and I had the best week together-did tons of stuff inside/outside the house, went out, grilled out, had friends over, spent quality time, just exactly what we needed to cement the relationship really. (I've got a kick arse beer chicken recipe if anyone wants one).

Anyways-I had told him weeks prior that it was important for me to spend this week w/him since it was rare I wouldn't have my kids that stretch of time. I was feeling like our relationship was so stressed and distant I was thinking we were heading for a temporary break even. He knew this and felt the same. So I kept reminding him to talk to his ex that she would NOT try to bring his BD to him or his parents that week-she gets EVERY week/holiday/school break/vacation when the girl isn't in school and promptly either tries to get her w/my bf or turns around-goes behind him and takes them to his parents-then he finds out and turns around to go get the BD to relieve his parents.

All one big cluster f*ck...because everybody, his ex, his child, his parents are all making decisions for him. It's such sporadical stuff too-any moment of any day, adding another night, adding another week-you name it. He's been holding his tongue, growing bitter, resenting his BD, hating his ex...but not standing up to them. Of course I get to hear the complaints and his frustration of feeling his balls are in a knot by everyone else.

Step One-I finally pushed him to do something about it. Encouraged was more like it but he did. He had already told his BD he would be out of town that week (even though we were staying put) so no need to come to HIS parents that week. His ex knew this and took the girl there anyway-of course he got a text from his parents asking if he was coming by to get her Monday evening....to which he responded simply-we are out of town-I did not agree to this week-I had told you already. Shoot if they want to undermine him by agreeing to what he hasn't w/his ex-dont' expect him to pick up the pieces to it everytime.

Step two-his BD would call him at least 6-10 times every day-leaving singing guilt inducing voicemails about how she missed him and that she loves us and hoped we were having a good time-not kidding it actually made ME cry-guess she knows how to guilt well. BUT he only called her twice during those days. He noticed the difference...my kids having never been away that long, would communicate every 3 days or so only for a few moments-and that was simply becasue I had to monitor their flights (pass priviledges) for the return flight. Otherwise we left eachother alone-because I WANT them to have a good time w/their dad w/out my interference. My kids try to disconnect also I've noticed-which is good because they need to focus on their dad then.

Step three-since his ex always swaps wknds-and we've been off schedule-he called her later in the week to TELL HER -not ask afterall all she never asks him a damn thing just does as she pleases- that he would still be out of town this wknd-and though it was his wknd w/the girl she would have to step up and we wanted to be back on schedule....she didn't like it-he then firmly-not cursing-threw almost every arsenal in the book he's been holding back. She tried to do the manipulation/guilt-you dont' care about your D-you never call-now you dont' want her around...he didn't budge w/any of it. Called her out for using and manipulating his parents w/their grandchild and tryign to do that w/him..for poisoning the girls head w/lies, for her sporadical ideas of bringing the kid over anytime she pleased. Oh...it was rich I tell you...He threw a fit that he was NOT there and why she was using HIS family to take care of the BD SHE has custody of. Funny Bitch says-well maybe I just need to have full custody-to which he laughed-you already DO-you just have chosen to do a 50/50 w/out asking me and that 50pct of time is whatever days you damn please and don't even ask-you go aroudn me to my parents. He said there was NO reason she should be there and that she should ask her own family to step up, she wouldn't be using his parents anymore. It just got better. She tried to tell him that's what the papers said-anytime she was off school, vacation, holiday she'd be w/him-to which he laughed and said I highly doubt that-go look at your papers again. And regardless I would never do the thigns you are doing to me if I had custody.

I think she needed to hear how bad her manipulating and using was doing to him, his parents, and his relationship w/his D-she went around doing what she pleased because nobody said anything to her. His parents are certainly too afraid. She took note because he got a text from his parents saying...call, the girl was just picked up...that was w/in 30 min of their call...hmmm..of course she cried to his parents that he had yelled and cursed at her (he never cursed), that he said he didn't want her over at his parents during the week -true-blah blah.Wah wah....go cry to your own damn parents.

Step FOUR-he did not call his parents back until the next day-even though they were pressing him to find out what had happened. NOT everything is their bsns!!! First may I say that man was sweetly rewarded that day-I was so damn proud of him for standing up to her and putting her in her place and taking his cojones out of her clasp...When he did call his parents the next day he went on for 20 min about how their agreeing to stuff he doesn't was wrong, undermining, they thought they were doing the right thing but they are not helping at ALL. It's making things so much worse. That they need to back him up. Let the CUSTODIAL mom step up-use HER family if she needs help and that he was going back to standard visitation-and to NOT agree to anything more-that it's messing up his life. They listened, they agreed, they backed down.

Step FIVE-he knows the girl is being poisoned right now-saying things like 'maybe dad doesn't love me anymore' to grandma because we were out of town. Things her MOM feeds her-I've heard her stay some out right PAS stuff big time over the last couple months. Once she got closer w/us her mom stepped up the PAS big time. BUT he knows he can't do much about it and is trying to move past and guilt free and knows he just can't obsess his life away and let it be a hinderance to his future.

I'm proud of him-we're talking about a house together-we're back on track and he's getting his balls back....sigh....but BOY do I hope it's not temporary.