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time to make a decision..

newadri's picture

Hello fellow stepparents!

So..I am at a moment of making a very important decision in my life right now..
As I posted before, DH got a big pay cut and needs to have a second income to pay all the bills.
My mom offered a house she owns about 40 miles away, for us to live rent free until he can get back on his feet. DH says that's not an option.
This house my mom owns is about 2 miles away from a great college, which I applied for and was able to be accepted into a program which all my classes would be paid for.
To top it all off, the school my son would go to has after school care for which he got accepted with zero cost to me.
I told DH I wanted this opportunity to get an education and plus he can rent the extra room that will be vacant and get the second income he needs.
Seems like a win win situation, right?
DH doesn't think so. He thinks going to college at my age is stupid. And I should find a full time job. Which basically my salary would be to just pay for day care (here where I live now there are no government funded programs like in the other school), and the rest of the money would be to pay the bills.

I got the news for the free after school program for the other school today. And to top it all off, one of my mom's friend told me that if I complete the classes I wanna take and get my certificate for the course I'm planning to apply for, that if I pass with good grades than he can get me a job in that field when I'm done.

Wow.. I'm so happy with all these news.. but how is it possible that I feel sad at the same time? DH said our relationship might not make it if I take this route.

I feel like this is the opportunity of a lifetime for me. And I'd only be 40. miles away. But he says that's too far and won't be able to go see me.

Is it just me? Or does this seem really crazy of him?

I had another post that I got some wonderful advice about this.

It just seems like the universe is conspiring in that direction.

I believe that if you truly love someone, you want what's best for them! I would never leave him if he had an opportunity like this.

This is really hurting me. I know what direction I should go, which will benefit me and my son's future.

But it hurts so much to think I might lose my husband because he's so close minded.

What would you do? What would you say to him if you were in my shoes?

20 plus's picture

Someone said toss a coin. Heads stay tails go. You'll know in your heart what you really want when the quarter is flipping in the air.

Why is he so against you getting an education and being productive? Also might be harsh but where will you and your son be in a few years if things don't work out? An education can provide for your little guy. I went to school for a few classes and was worried I'ld be the old lady. Most of the students were my age and older.

step off already's picture

You have to go with your gut. I think you sense a disturbance in the force. You have an excellent opportunity to better yourself. Take advantage of it.

He should be supporting you.

Disneyfan's picture

Enter Unhappy in the search engine to the right and read her blogs.

Please think about what is best for you and your son.

MarriedaBallessWonder's picture

You may never have this wonderful opportunity again. GO! You will regret it for the rest of your life.

Life is short. Live your dreams!

Good luck to you.

synyster.mystic's picture

Go to school. You need to do whats right for you and your son. If DH doesnt ant to support you on your journey, he isn't the right guy. And to say that he won't come and see you is BS. He wants YOU to get a full time job and waste a free education to possibly get a better paying job? Tell him to get off his butt and get a 2nd job or even a better job himself. I know it's not an easy decision. And I' not saying he doesnt love you or care about you. But if he truely loved you the way he should, he would support you through this. And tell him that you are never to old to go back to school to better yourself. Maybe he should try it. Good luck.

amber3902's picture

The only time you're too old to go back to school is when you're dead.

I went back to school at age 34. There were plenty of people older than me in class. Don't let this guy hold you back.

christinen's picture

This sounds like a great opportunity and I don't think you should pass it up! Your mom allowing you to live rent-free in her home would be a HUGE help. Going back to school is not stupid, no matter what your age. An education is something that will provide so many opportunities for you and it is something that no one can ever take from you! I had to go into debt (student loans) to get my degree because I didn't have anyone to help me and I didn't qualify for any grants or anything like that, but I'm telling you, it's worth every penny and is definitely the best money you can spend! Nothing can replace the feeling of accomplishment you will get from it. You should tell your DH he should go to school too. Only an uneducated moron would say getting an education is stupid. SMH!