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how do you eat sh*t with a smile?

newadri's picture

Hello fellow friends!

Here I am again sharing a bit of my frustrations and venting out the only way I can.

First of all I'd like to say thanks for all the incredibly amazing advice I receive on my posts. Wow! You guys have no idea how your words help and how they inspire me!

I have officially decided to follow my heart and all your wonderful advice!
I got the ball rolling for the move to go to my mom's house and go back to school.

This week I'm in the process of enrolling my son at the new school and deciding which of the 2 certificates I'll be going for.

I got my eye on EMT and I also their classes on winery technology.

I have a friend who's gonna give me exactly what I'd be in for if I decide to go with EMT. I'm meeting up with her tomorrow. She works for american medical response.

The wine technology sounds interesting too! Specially because near the new house there are quite a few wineries!

Anyways.. I'll have a decision made in the next few days. Registration is in June ..so I'm ok!

Well.. 2 nights ago me and DH had a long talk and it seemed like he was finally starting to warm up to the idea of me going back to school for a year at my mom's house.

He's still not too thrilled with the fact I wont be here on a daily baisis.. but I told him that I had decided to go and wasn't gonna change my mind.

Well.. I went to the college today to meet with a counselour and tonight he asked me how it went. Stupid me..I sat down and started showing him all the info on the classes I'm considering to take.

Than he started reading the paperwork and started to point out all the difficulties that according to him, I will encounter in either one of the courses I choose to go with.
He went on and on about how I might have to work nights as an EMT..and how I'm gonna have to see a lot of sick people.. how I'm gonna be putting myself in danger if something goes wrong with the patient.. and he went on and on. At the end I felt like I'm the stupidest person in the world for considering work in this field. Specially at my age.

Now..after saying all this crap and getting me discouraged, I got sad. And got quiet. So..of course..he gets mad. He says there's no reason why I should be upset because he was just stating out the facts and trying to help me see things more clearly.

He got mad because I got sad. And when I'm quiet than all hell breaks loose. I have to take all the crap he says and just listen and smile.
How does one do that? How do u eat sh*t with a smile? I still don't know.
Needless to say now he's upset and not talking to me.

Whatever.. this whole situation drives me crazy..that's what it does. And now he planted all these things in my head that are making me reconsider my classes.

Damn.. I feel like I take one step toward than 3 steps back.

IslandGal's picture

Easy. DO NOT LISTEN TO A WORD HE SAYS!!

You're doing GREAT so far!! You've made all the right moves and taking all the right steps.

Of course he's not going to find anything "ok" about it - what, did you expect him to do a 180 and start to support you? Why? He didn't support you before and tried his damndest to talk you out of it.

Yes - you were stupid to show him - but then again, you acted in good faith and as a good partner. You opened yourself up to him - and what does he do? Douses your dreams in icy cold water.

C'mon girl! You've shown that you can be strong. You've shown that you're capable of making your own decisions.

Now all you gotta do is STAND BY THEM!! When in doubt - think of your Son. Think of how incredibly proud he's gonna be of you!

And to hell with that toxic, non-ambitious piece of turd meat hanging around your neck!

luchay's picture

Do NOT let that man discourage you, he is looking to clip your wings.

His tantrums and ordering you around didn't work so now he is getting sneaky.

Follow your heart, go out with your friend and SEE what it is like, yes it's a tough job, but you are considering it for a reason aren't you? So, stand up, take stock of who YOU are, and be strong. If YOU really want to do it YOU can!

Just tell him you are taking what he has said under advisement, and you will let him know what you decide to do.

Keep smiling at him and don't let him put you down, you are a lot more capable than HE thinks, and than YOU are starting to think. don't let him take you there. It has been 20 years since I left an abusive husband, he spent a LONG time making me feel useless and stupid and not worth anything, and I beg you don't allow yourself to get that low.

Kes's picture

Sorry, I don't know your backstory, but it sounds like your DH is willing to hit below the belt to try and stop your plan to go back to college.

I had a similar situation, with my exH, not with college, but with something I wanted to do that he thought I couldn't. It was tiling the bathroom. He LAUGHED at me (not in a nice way) when I said I was going to do it, and told me not to be stupid. Well, I got a library book on how to do it, ordered the tiles and a tile cutter, and I made a damn good job of it. I was so proud. ExH had to eat his words.

He is trying to make you doubt yourself - DON't!!!! You can do this, no earthly reason why it should be beyond your grasp.

Disneyfan's picture

Stop talking about this with him. You've made up your mind. You know he doesn't agree.

Stop giving him the opportunity to make you feel bad about doing something that you know is best for you and your son.